The following sentences are taken verbatim from comments on unwitting websites; I’ve collected them as I’ve come across them since Autumn of 2013. Sometimes I couldn’t help myself and put my comments in parentheses; other comments there are simply reference to the context. I have dozens more, but certain things in life are better in small doses… 
- “Don’t look like you like didn’t eat it all” (man, late-50s)
- “I just havta buy some…” (woman, 18)
- (Headline): “Welfare Check Leads to Homicide Investigation” (Referring to a response of officers to check on a suspicious situation, and not a monetary cheque…)
- “I love London. Especially the countryside.” (face palm…not strictly bad grammar; just ignorance…)
- “Now this statement I like – we are Ameica and our language is English – you want6 to live hear learn our language. And go by our rules.” (Concerning a sign that said, “Welcome to America. Press 1 for English; Press 2 to disconnect until you learn English.” Clearly they missed grammar and spelling lessons.)
- “Lively up yourself.”
- “Who’s agree with us?”
- “Sorry hand finger bad cut bleeding after topaz scared and did it. sorry it not up in the morning. Sorry sorting it I hope” (Whaaat??)
- “I think it gonna b 2 these 4 me 2nite.” (Clearly.)
- “That is the days I go shopping even if I don’t buy nothing hoping the family left at home do something.” (Hopefully the family is learning better grammar than this mother did…)
Stephanie Huesler 