Category Archives: Mistranslations

Rabbit Holes

Have you ever started what seemed like a small project, only to realize that you’d fallen down Alice’s rabbit hole, ala Wonderland?

I was sitting in my library last weekend, and I glanced up at a few old photo albums on the top shelf of one of our bookcases. I’ve been meaning to photograph, restore and edit those pictures for years, so I finally pulled one down and began. It happened to be my family history album, with photographs as far back as 1890. And so it began.

The last time I wrote an article about family history, only a couple days later I was contacted by then-unknown branches of that family – distant relatives who’d been looking for that kind of missing-link information. That article was posted on a dormant blog of mine, so I’ll post it here this coming week – who knows, maybe more relatives will show up for the party!

I spread the album open on our dining table, and began taking pictures of pictures (if you’ve ever done this, you’ll know that glossy photos are the bane of restoration attempts!), then painstakingly took out each scratch and superficial film blemish caused by age and my two emigrations (first Scotland, then Switzerland). I cropped, turned, tweaked and focused until each photo was restored and properly labelled. Then I began feeding them into a digital album program – when it’s ready, I’ll be able to order a physical hardback book, and the project will be on my cloud account to avoid losing the whole project, as happened once before (I still have the photos, and the printed book, so I can re-create it, but it hurts to have lost all that work through a computer crash, pre-cloud…!).

That’s when the first rabbit hole opened. Being a writer, I’m curious by nature. Or maybe my curiosity led me into writing. Whatever. I’m curious, and I love research. I also have a lot of experience in tracking missing persons: About 12 years ago, I tracked down nearly all of my 35 former classmates from Hawaii, 1986, from Australia to Guam to Norway to Brazil to Seattle. Every evening, when my husband came home from work, he couldn’t wait to hear what I’d accomplished that day: I “bribed” a retired LAPD detective with a bar of Swiss chocolate to track down one friend who was a hermit in the Californian mountains with no phone, no internet, and no address. I had enough for him to go on, and he put legs to my work – within 24 hours, I had my man – he came down the mountain for a phone call with me. Another friend had moved out of state from the last known address, and his name was a common one – too common to find him through conventional ways. So, I put Google Earth, white pages and intuition together, with a dose of southern charm (I’m not from the south, but I can turn it on if need be!), and got the state he’d moved to from a former neighbour of his – all he knew was where he might be working. Another friend was off-grid for security reasons – and I still tracked her down (I told her, “I could tell you how I did it, but then I’d have to kill you!” 😉) Needless to say, almost every track was an adventure.

Which brings me to the present rabbit hole: I’ve begun work on my paternal family album; on the maternal side, I don’t have any information beyond my great-grandparents, but I can trace my paternal grandmother’s family back to the Danish village they came from, on the island west of Copenhagen – and once I’ve filled in as wide as I can from the emigrated side, I’ll contact the Danish records offices or cemetery of the Old Town and go back further still if I can – so far, I’m into the 1830s; hopefully, such European records survived World Wars 1 & 2.

Nis & Maren “Mary” Aaroe, my great-great-grandparents, who immigrated with 2 small children to Kansas from Vonsild, Denmark in the 1880s. Here, in the late 1910’s.

There are a few websites that specialize in ancestry – but most of them want to charge you to see the information. I understand that a company needs to have a viable income to offset their costs, but such websites often rely on volunteer family members feeding in that information on their own dime, so I won’t support them. I have found two websites that have proven invaluable; if you want to do something similar, here they are:

www.findagrave.com is a website gathering of history and genealogy enthusiasts who photograph tombstones and gather personal information about the individual from official documents, obits, etc., with the purpose of honouring them and allowing others to find family members. It was the first time I’d seen my own father’s gravestone. I’ve been on there less than a week, and I’ve become the custodian of a dozen virtual family graves; it will be easier to add information as I come across it in research as the rabbit hole deepens. Through the efforts of complete strangers unrelated to my family, I’ve been able to fill in the blanks of missing birthdates and death-dates, as well as next of kin, and their next of kin, and so on. Another rabbit hole!

The second website is www.wikitree.com; it is a free website, like Wikipedia, but for genealogists to collaborate through, with forums and all kinds of helpful groups to get you started. So far, I haven’t needed any of the forums myself, but I’ve been busy building up the family tree and collecting pictures and information there. As I have my husband’s family tree already, it will be my next project on that website.

Keep in mind that I’m doing all of this in my spare time; I’m working on my 5th novel’s manuscript, and I have a husband in home office through the week, which means 2 meals a day instead of just 1 to plan ahead for and prepare. Someone does laundry, and cleans the house and goes grocery shopping – but since I haven’t been able to train our cats to do that, I guess it’s me, while my husband earns our keep. He earns, I spend – it works well for us. 😉

For the sake of potential relatives searching for family names online, my heritage is as follows:

Umbarger, Kuhns, Hüsler (Huesler), Aagaard (The anglicized Danish surname is sometimes misspelled as Agard or Aagard), Aaroe, Higbee, Herring. So glad I don’t have that string on my official documents! Two things can sometimes make tracking difficult is that firstly, maiden names are exchanged for the married surname, causing a break in the chain; secondly, the Ellis Island effect – officials didn’t know how to spell the name properly, so they recorded it phonetically, which makes unravelling the true path more of a challenge.

This week, the intrigue continues as I begin trying to track down the missing branches of my family. My goal is to make the album project available to even distant relatives who might be interested, although it will obviously have the emphasis of my personal perspective as far as photos go, the closer to my generation I get.

Have you done any family history research, or a family tree? Have you ever taken a DNA test? If so, what did it reveal about you and your ancestors? Please comment below!

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Filed under Articles, Etymology, History, History Undusted, Military History, Mistranslations, Research, Snapshots in History

Lost in Translation: Pee Cola

Very popular in Ghana, “pee” means (locally, at any rate) “very good”. I doubt they have many tourists trying the local drink.

LIT - extremely popular soda, which is bottled in Ghana, means -very good Cola

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Filed under Humor, Images, Mistranslations, Obscurities, Translations

Odd Jobs #8: Hippotherapists to Spatial Designers

The next line-up of odd jobs begins with one that can lead to all kinds of interpretations; no, it’s not therapy for hippos, nor is it accusing hippos of being convicted criminals (break it down…)!  It is in fact a specialised form of therapy for humans involving horses.

There are a few on this list that sound on the surface like cushy jobs; but as with all careers, they have their downsides too, I’m sure:  It’s just creepy to hire someone else to lie down in your hotel bed to warm it up for you, but someone’s got to earn money; and how’d you like to live in a spotless mansion as a living mannequin… never to feel at home, and forced to leave at the drop of a hat?  Being an ice cream taster doesn’t sound bad on a hot day, but 60 kinds a day, every day, without swallowing?  No, thanks!  I’d rather enjoy mine one flavour at a time, or three.

Odd Job - Iceberg Mover

Iceberg Mover.  Original photo source, unknown (if known, please let me know!)

  • Hippotherapist
  • Horse Rider / Exerciser
  • Horticultural Therapist
  • Hot Dog Vendor
  • Human Bed-Warmer (UK): Some hotels offer a service to clients, in which a willing staffer dresses in an all-in-one fleece jumpsuit, and lays in the bed to warm it before the guest arrives.
  • Human Bullet Impact Tester
  • Human Prop: Hired to live in for-sale luxury homes at dirt cheap prices; but of course, there’s a catch – the house must always be in squeaky clean, in case it gets purchased, and they have to be ready to move out immediately. According to real estate companies, houses sell better when they’re being lived in; the props lend an unmistakable energy to an otherwise empty home.
  • Human Scarecrow (UK) – A variation is that of a human scarecrow for airports – Officially, you’d be called a “specialist for biological aviation safety.”
  • Iceberg Mover: Became a profession after the disastrous sinking of the Titanic in 1912. The International Ice Patrol (IIP), which was founded a year later, is operated by the US Coast Guard and tracks the location of icebergs and provides safe routes around them. If necessary, the iceberg will be towed out of the area.
  • Ice Cream Taster (Food Scientist)
  • IMAX Screen Cleaner
  • Interior / Spatial Designer

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Filed under Lists, Mistranslations, Research

Lost in Translation: Camel Balls Gum

Today’s product is sold in the UK, among other places (e.g. Amazon).  In and of itself, it may not be lost in translation so much as a marketing gimmick, but I came across an article of the UK’s Mirror titled, “Bubblegum called Camel Balls sold to girl, 7, gives mum the hump”.  Their choice of that last word in this particular context is unfortunate, given its connotations in some English dialects…

 

LIT - Camel Balls Gum

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Filed under Humor, Images, Mistranslations

Just for Fun #3: Vegetarian

Vegetarian, Bad Hunter

3 Comments

May 11, 2016 · 9:44 PM

Anonymously Bad Grammar 2

Found perchance online, I thought I’d share this with you.  For those of you who, like me, cringe at bad grammar and spelling, you’ve just been duly forewarned.

In (one hopes purely sarcastic) response to the following information:  “Terms for being admitted to Harvard in the 17th century (around the age of 15 or 16): ‘Whoever shall be able to read Cicero, or any other such-like classical author at sight, and correctly, and without assistance to speak and write Latin both in prose and verse, and to inflect exactly the paradigms of Greek nouns and verbs, has a right to expect to be admitted into the college, and no one may claim admission without these qualifications.'”

“Hay, i took a fence @ that! i thinking hour educations more better then ever!”

 

 

Psychotherapist

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Filed under Cartoon, Humor, Mistranslations

Lost in Translation: Pepsi

In 1963, Pepsi launched the “Come Alive!  You’re in the Pepsi Generation!” campaign.  All well and good until they took it to China, where the slogan translated as “Pepsi – Bring Your Ancestors Back from the Dead”.

Needless to say, it was a short-lived campaign, despite its claim to resurrect Grandpa.

LIT - Pepsi, Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation, 1963

 

LIT - Pepsi, Chinese of Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation, 1963

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Filed under Humor, Images, Mistranslations, Signs

Lost in Translation: Bird Crap

I don’t know if this would really qualify as being “lost in translation” as it is the original English name of the product, and it is intentional; it may just fall under the category of marketing flops or faux pas.  But either way, the last thing I want going through my mind as I take a bite of a nicely grilled burger is this brand name…

LIT - Bird Crap Seasoning

Here’s a close-up of the label:

LIT - Bird Crap Seasoning Label

Ya never know – it might sell quite well, just as a marketing gag (no pun intended – well, maybe it was)…

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Filed under Humor, Images, Mistranslations

Lost in Translation: Fart

Keeping on with the disgusting theme of my last post, I thought I’d share a whiff of Polish with you:  In Poland, where this candy bar is marketed, the name translates to something like Lucky Streak and the word orzechowy means nutty.  It does not help to think of it as a nutty lucky streak with the name association in English, especially with an elephant as the logo…

In Polish, where this candy bar is made, the name translates to -lucky bar

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Filed under Humor, Mistranslations, Signs, Translations

Lost in Translation: Barf

In Iran, where this laundry detergent is produced, the name means “snow”.  For obvious reasons I don’t think they should try to break into the English market…

In Iran, where this detergent is manufactured, that word means -snow

For other ads lost in translation, click here.

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Filed under Humor, Images, Mistranslations, Signs