Category Archives: Videos

Odd Jobs #7: Fragrance Chemists to Gumologists

This week’s lineup of oddball jobs includes a literal odd-ball job:  Diving for lost golf balls.  That might seem like a perfect job for someone who loves the outdoors and diving – that is, until you face alligators in Florida (and yes, the video footage is real).  I think it would be a cushier job (pun intended) to be a furniture tester.  Being a greeting card writer might be fun for awhile, but I think it would be difficult to stay fresh year in, year out, unless you could switch “genres” – if that term doesn’t exist in the greeting card industry, I think it should:  Birthday & anniversary genre; condolence genre; or flippant, schmaltz, generic, and even hate-mail genres.  Can you think of others?

Odd Job - Golf Ball Diver, Nancy Rica Schiff

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Odd Jobs #6: Face Feelers to Fortune Cookie Writers

I can’t believe it’s Saturday again already!  Our exchange student teen is off to France for a fortnight, so we’re breathing the air of liberté!

Taking a break from the current daily post challenge, here’s the next lineup of odd jobs:  Some can earn good money, such as being a Foley Artist for Hollywood, while others are as obscure as you can get, like being a fish sampler.

In doing the research for this article, I was shocked to find out just how prevalent fake Facebook accounts are; it says a lot about the superficiality of modern culture, and how much need there is to have our feet firmly planted in reality.  It is a known phenomenon that Generation Z (Millennials – enjoy this song by Micah Taylor) seems to get their own sense of worth online; but the number of likes, follows and subscribers should never reflect how much someone is worth, or valued; they need more of us to value them in real face-to-face time, or to express it via the virtual world in uplifting words of encouragement.

So enjoy this list of oddball jobs, and click on their links to learn more.  Then help make the world a better place:  Think about how you can encourage someone today!

Odd Job - Fake Facebooker

  • Face Feelers, also known as ‘sensory scientists’: Trained to use their hands and judge the effectiveness of products like lotions, facial cleansers, and razors. 
  • “Fake” Facebooker (According to Wikipedia, 7% of Facebook users were not real in August 2012). As of October 2012, Facebook crossed the 1 billion user-mark, which means that no less that 87 million accounts are fake.  Their “job” is either to con someone out of personal information in order to steal identities, or to amass “likes” for a video or personality to help them go viral, reaching fame or notoriety.
  • Fireworks Salesman
  • Fish Sampler
  • Flatulence Smell Reduction Underwear Maker: Tasked with engineering underwear that reduces the typically unpleasant post-fart stink for people who suffer from gastrointestinal problems.
  • Flavorist
  • Floating Architects: Design amphibious houses, which can float on water. With waterfront real estate becoming a scarcity, their market niche may grow in the coming years.
  • Foley Artist: Use whatever they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sound effects in films, like heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.
  • Food Stylist
  • Fortune cookie writer: Hired as freelancers or in-house writers to come up with inspiring or witty fortunes. EHow.com estimates that these professionals earn around $40,000 a year.

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Deaf Space

Take a moment to stop what you’re doing, and close your eyes:  What do you hear?  A tea kettle? The hum of your computer?  a television?  A car driving by?  All of these sounds tell you something about your environment:  That water is boiling; that your computer is working well, or struggling, or processing something that makes it slower at the moment; that someone, perhaps in another room, is occupied; that traffic is flowing, or that it might be dangerous for children outside at play.

Now take away all those sounds.  It can be disorienting; it makes you feel insecure.  It also makes you more alert to other environmental cues, and to your other senses – particularly sight.  If a person mumbles, or turns away, or moves their hand across their face while speaking to a deaf person, communication is disrupted.  People can be sensitized to the challenges, but can architecture?  Yes.  It can be made suitable for various perceptions and perspectives.

When I lived in Scotland, I translated regularly (BSL) for the deaf in our church, and would hang out with deaf friends sometimes.  Some of them lived in a flat complex designed for the visually or auditorily-impaired, with bold red counter tops, light switches and phones to help them navigate, as well as light signals for various things such as the door bell or the phone ringing.  The deaf sports club was a wide-open space, with room for a large crowd to chat in groups; as a hearing person, it was a unique experience to be in a crowd of signing people:  There are few secrets in the deaf community, because even across the room one can understand the conversation; and though we were all signing, it was not quiet – sounds made with the mouth to support the sign, or the slap of skin on skin, or a laugh, or the shifting of clothing could be heard.

Look at the layout of your room, or office:  If your interaction with the people around you needs to be visual, what could potentially hinder it?  A solid wall, a glaring light fixture, blind corners, stairs (which must be focused on, to navigate), or a narrow passage that makes it difficult to walk side by side, signing.  Deaf architects have begun incorporating their unique considerations into designs, and they not only offer a unique perspective on architecture but, by doing so, have created some stunning spaces:  Deaf Space.  To see a short video on the topic, please click here.  Do yourself a favour, and watch the video at least once without sound.  Below are a few images of deaf space from Google Images.

As a writer, it is always fascinating for me to explore new perspectives, and to try to see the world around me through the eyes of others; doing so enriches the writing experience, and opens new possibilities in developing characters, environments, or situational elements.

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The Art of Listening

ListeningAs a writer I’m constantly on the lookout for ways to improve any of my skills, be they technical, linguistic, goal-oriented (such as the skills it takes to publish a book), or basic.  Listening falls into the latter category; it’s something all of us do, yet all of us can improve on.  I don’t think I need to mention the fact that we are a generation on information overload; media screams at us to get our attention, whether through the use of power-punching, gut-wrenching headlines, or power-words written in ALL CAPS! with the appropriate punctuation, or flashing ads that give us no peace until we either turn them off or leave the website they’ve invaded.  Adds flash at us constantly whether on TV, in shops, on the internet, or driving down the motorway.  Eventually we become numb and stop listening.  We put in our ear-buds, turn on a song of our choice and try to tune out the rest of the world, at least for a moment.

By improving listening, I am not implying that we toss out our MP3 players and force ourselves to listen to everything in case we miss something important.  We must all use discretion about where our “focus energy” goes.  But by improving our listening, we can begin to hear the quieter, more subtle elements; we can focus our ears and minds to perceive things that might be more worthwhile than the noise that vies for our attention.  Conscious listening creates understanding.

I recently listened to a TED talk by Julian Treasure on five exercises to improve listening; I share them with you here; click on the image above if you’d like to watch the talk yourself:

1)  Silence:  For at least three minutes a day, try to find a place of complete silence (if not possible, at least aim for very quiet).  It helps to recalibrate your ears, so that you can actually hear the quieter things once again.

2) Mixer:  In a noisy environment, whether a café or sitting by a stream, practice focusing your ears on one sound, then another;  It will improve the quality of your listening.  I use this technique with singing students; before they begin rehearsing with a song we will analyse and dissect it instrument by instrument, verse by verse, vocal by vocal.  The more they become aware of this process, the better they will understand how their vocals fit into the bigger picture as both a wind- and stringed instrument.

3)  Savouring:  There’s a “hidden choir” all around you; focusing on such mundane sounds as the dish washer or the coffee machine can reveal rhythms and build an appreciation of the simpler things in life.  Sound technicians for films use this as their greatest tool; because they’ve trained themselves in this area, they know they can combine the squishing of an orange, the grating of a cinder block across a corrugated iron sheet and the distortion of their vacuum cleaner’s sound to come up with a monster ala the Balrog of Lord of the Rings, or scraping keys along a piano wire to land Dr. Who’s TARDIS.

4)  Listening Positions:  This is the idea that you can shift your position (“level” of listening) according to what you’re listening to:  active/passive, reductive/expansive, critical/empathetic.  These adjust certain filters that we all have, such as culture, language, values, beliefs, attitudes, expectations and intentions, which increasingly focus our listening from all “sounds” down to things we specifically listen to.

5) RASA:  An acronym for Receive (i.e. paying attention to the person), Appreciate (giving verbal feedback such as small sounds of agreement or interest), Summarize (feedback of what you’ve understood), and Ask (ask questions afterward).  Practicing RASA will improve not only how we listen, but our retention of information.

Listening is one of our five senses, and one that’s worth exploring in writing; when a reader can become absorbed in the sensations of a scene – hearing, smelling, seeing, feeling and tasting the environment through well-chosen words – they will be invested in the story, and care about what happens next.

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The Jabberwocky and the Totemügerli

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, chances are you’ve heard of Alice in Wonderland; at the least your curiosity might have been piqued enough to read it after seeing The Matrix, or be mistaken in thinking that you don’t need to read the book if you saw Tim Burton’s film with Johnnie Depp.  The sequel to Lewis Carroll’s most famous work (mentioned above), called “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There“, written in 1871, contains the famous nonsensical poem called the Jabberwocky, which I present here:

“Jabberwocky”

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought—

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”

He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

Many of the nonsensical words are what Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) coined Jabberwockyas “portmanteau words” meaning the combination of both sound and meaning of two words into one; e.g. frumious being “fuming” and “furious”.  Some of the words have since made it into the English language, such as galumph or chortle, while some were words he revived, such as gyre and beamish.  And personally I think some of his words deserve wider use, such as brilling, slithy, snicker-snack and Bandersnatch!  Click on the photo to the right to hear the poem read.

 

Now… “what is the Totemügerli,” I hear you ask?  It is the Swiss-German version – not a translation, but an original story by Franz Hohler, a Swiss cabaret performer; Bernese German, to be more precise.  Bern is the political capital of Switzerland, and historically has one of the richest, most colourful dialects of all the Swiss German dialects; I am fluent in the Zürich dialect, and can understand all the other Swiss-German dialects, including Walliserdïïtsch, which is the oldest of all Swiss dialects; and I can guarantee you that the Totemügerli story is 90% nonsense, and yet tells a clear tale!  For those of you interested in the text, here it is:

Ds Totemügerli

von Franz Hohler

Gäuit, wemer da grad eso schön binanger sitze, hani däicht, chönntech

vilicht es bärndütsches Gschichtli erzelle. Es isch zwar es bsungers

uganteligs Gschichtli, wo aber no gar nid eso lang im Mittlere

Schattegibeleggtäli passiert isch:

Der Schöppelimunggi u der Houderebäseler si einischt schpät am Abe,

wo scho der Schibützu durs Gochlimoos pfoderet het, über s Batzmättere

Heigisch im Erpfetli zueglüffe u hei nang na gschtigelet u gschigöggelet,

das me z Gotts Bäri hätt chönne meine, si sige nanger scheich.

«Na ei so schlöözige Blotzbänggu am Fläre, u i verminggle der s Bätzi,

dass d Oschterpföteler ghörsch zawanggle!»

«Drby wärsch froh, hättsch en einzige nuesige Schiggeler uf em Lugipfupf!»

U so isch das hin u härgange wie nes Färegschäderli amene Milchgröözi,

da seit plötzlech Houderebäseler zu Schöppelimunggi:

«Schtill! Was ziberlet dert näbem Tobelöhli z grachtige n uuf u aab?»

Schöppelimunggi het gschläfzet wie ne Gitzeler u hets du o gseh. Es

Totemügerli! U nid numen eis, nei, zwöi, drü, vier, füüf, es ganzes

Schoossinjong voll si da desumegschläberlet u hei zäng pinggerlet u

globofzgerlet u gschanghangizigerlifisionööggelet, das es eim richtig agschnäggelet het.

Schöppelimunggi u Houderebäseler hei nang nume zuegmutzet u hei ganz

hingerbyggelig wöllen abschöberle. Aber chuum hei si der Awang ytröölet,

gröözet es Totemügerli:

«Heee, dir zweee!»

U denen isch i d Chnöde glöötet wie bschüttigs Chrüzimääl dure Chätschäbertrog.

Düpfelig u gnütelig si si blybe schtah wie zwöi gripseti Mischtschwibeli,

u scho isch das Totemügerli was tschigerlisch was

pfigerlisch binene zueche gsi. Äs het se zersch es Rüngli chyblig u

gschiferlig aagnöttelet u het se de möögglige gfraget:

«Chöit dir is hälfe, ds Blindeli der Schtotzgrotzen ueche z graagge?»

Wo der Schöppelimunggi das Wort «Blindeli» ghört het, het em fasch

wölle ds Härzgätterli zum Hosegschingg uspföderle,

aber der Houderebäseler het em zueggaschplet:

«Du weisch doch, das men imene Totemügerli nid darf nei säge!»

U du si si halt mitgschnarpflet.

«Sooo, dir zweee!» het ds Totemügerli gseit, wo si zum Blindeli cho si,

u die angere Totemügerli si ganz rüeiig daaggalzlet u hei numen ugschynig ychegschwärzelet.

Da hei die beide gwüsst, was es Scheieli Gschlychets ds Gloubige

choschtet u hei das Blindeli aagroupet, der eint am schörpfu, der anger a de Gängertalpli.

Uuuh, isch das e botterepfloorigi Schtrüpfete gsi!

Die zwee hei gschwouderet u ghetzpacheret, das si z näbis meh gwüsst hei,

wo se der Gürchu zwurglet.

Daa, z eis Dapf, wo si scho halber der Schtotzgrotzen

uecheghaschpaaperet si, faht sech das Blindeli afah ziirgge u bäärgglet mit

schychem Schtimmli:

«Ooh, wie buuchet mi der Glutz!»

Jetz hets aber im Schöppelimunggi böös im Schyssächerli gguugget.

Är het das Blindeli la glootsche u isch der Schtotzgrotz abdotzeret,

wie wenn em der Hurligwaagg mit em Flarzyse der Schtirps vermöcklet hätt.

«Häb dure, Münggu!» het em der Houderebäseler na naagräätschet;

u de het er nüt meh gwüsst.

Am angere Morge het ne ds Schtötzgrötzeler Eisi gfunge, chäfu u tunggig

wien en Öiu, u es isch meh weder e Monet gange,

bis er wider het chönne s Gräppli im Hotschmägeli bleike.

Totemügerli u Blindeli het er keis meh gseh sis Läbe lang, aber o der

Schöppelimunggi isch vo da a verschwunde gsi.

S git Lüt, wo säge, dass sider am Schtotzgrotzen es Totemügerli meh desumeschirggelet.

If you’d like to hear it read out by Franz Hohler himself, in a cabaret show recorded during the ’80s, just click on the image below.

 

Totemürgeli, by Willy Vogelsang

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The Handshake of Character Development

business.gov.au, the Australian Government's dedicated business website1Have you ever stopped to consider the handshake?  It is a non-verbal form of communication, and it can tell you volumes about a person.  It is usually the first contact in a face-to-face transaction, used not only as a greeting form, but as an aid in assessing the other person’s confidence, assertiveness, aggression, or social skills.  What if the handshake is weak or strong, clammy or crushing?  Is it too short (which sends the signal that the person who breaks off the touch either disdains or disrespects the partner), or too long (which is an invasion of private space, too intimate, or disconcerting – it can even interrupt verbal exchange if it’s too awkward)?  Is it a neutral-valued exchange, or does the touch signify some ulterior motive (power-play, intimidation, invasion of the partner’s intimate sphere, a sexual connotation, etc.)?  What difference does it make for any of the above factors to take place between partners of the same sex vs. the opposite sex?  In other words, if two men shake hands and one is crushing, what message comes across differently if the partner being crushed is a woman?  Different cultural interpretations enter into the equation as well, as touch signifies various things in various cultures.  What difference is there to a handshake with a superior or authority figure to that of a peer or inferior?  What if the superior is a woman shaking the hand of a man of lower rank?  Or a woman of lower rank?  Or a man from a culture that does not recognize women as authority figures?

When developing a character for a novel, the handshake can be a telling gesture.  Even if none of the above questions are answered explicitly in your manuscript, just answering the questions for yourself can go a long way to your own understanding of the character, and how you want to express them to your readership.  So the next time you shake someone’s hand, alert your writer’s mind to take notes – putting those feelings into words develops your senses far more than simply identifying those feelings.  There have been a lot of studies on body language, particularly in the field of international business.  For a humorous yet telling video of the “Top Ten Bad Business Handshakes”, click on the image above.

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Politeness Cultures

I recently came across a very interesting TED video addressing the differences between the American and British cultures on the specific aspect of politeness.  I grew up in the Midwest of America, emigrated to Scotland, lived in England for a while as well, and have friends scattered all over the “British Empire” & Commonwealth; I now live in Switzerland (adding several “Germanic” mentalities to my experience in that process!).  What the speaker (Lynne Murphy) observes makes a LOT of sense on both sides of the Puddle (Atlantic).  I share it with you because as a writer I know that those subtle, unspoken, unwritten differences in the ways people interact with each other and show their masks, or as Lynne calls them “faces”, make or break the authenticity in writing both prose and dialogue.  Click on the image below to watch the video; it’s 18 minutes long, so please watch it when you have time to focus! (By the way, the two cartoons below illustrate perfectly the difference between the “positive” face and the “negative” face.)

Politeness Politeness2

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The Vegetarian’s Nightmare

In 1987, Baxter Black recited “The Vegetarian’s Nightmare” on the Johnny Carson Show.  It’s a masterpiece of poetry and storytelling combined! Slapping words together and centering them down the center of a column is not poetry (just sayin’).  True, traditional poetry has rhyme, rhythm, and reason, and takes a true artist to master its intricacies.  Whether or not you are into country music or lifestyle, there is no denying his success; New York Times proclaimed him America’s most successful living poet.  Take a few minutes to experience a true poet at his craft by clicking on the image below.

Baxter Black, USA's most successful living poet

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The Separate Language

Having lived on both sides of the Puddle (that’s the Atlantic, for you Americans), I can confirm that English truly is a language that separates the Old World from the New.  While the American language seems to be simplifying through the school system and mass media (and don’t even get me started on the spelling!), I doubt that will ever happen in the UK… the language is far too entertaining to let it get boring.  Click on the image below for a few gems like “Donkey’s Years”, “it’s monkeys”, “to have a butcher’s”, and “up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire”.

Anglophenia

 

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Thrice Ensconced Swines

Just for fun, here’s a Shakespearean rendering of “The Three Little Pigs”.  Click on the image below and enjoy!

vintage_three_little_pigs

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May 27, 2014 · 11:30 PM