Category Archives: Lists

October 1, 2016 · 10:45 AM

Odd Jobs #13: Sommeliers to Video Game Testers

Here’s our next lineup of odd jobs. While each job is on the list for a reason, the most humorous is probably the traffic zebra of Bolivia – there are dozens of them, and they direct traffic, help people cross safely, and undoubtedly keep drivers more alert.  The job most teenagers would kill for is that of the video game tester; imagine getting paid to play computer games all day!  For me it would very much depend on the game – I love games like the Riven series, but games that have free-roaming views (smoothly following the mouse movements) give me a migraine after an hour…

Of all the jobs in this list, I think the one that captures my imagination the most is the Sommelier; not as a job, but because I like wine!  Recently my husband and I drank a bottle together, and we decided that it wasn’t complete without watching one of our favourite films, “A Good Year” – it did make it taste better.  I also like tea, but I would prefer to stick to Earl Grey, curl up in my favourite chair and read a good book – what I’ll be doing next.  So enjoy the lineup, and then go and read a good book with your favourite cuppa!

  • Sommelier (Wine Steward)
  • Swan Uppers (England) This ceremony dates back to the 12th
  • Tampon Tester: Check all sizes of tampons for absorbency and cord strength in accordance with FDA standards. Most testers check up to 125 pieces per day.
  • Tea Taster
  • Teddy Bear Repair Technician
  • Traffic Zebras (Bolivia)
  • Trend Hunter: Closely related to marketing, it’s a profession to find out what’s going to be cool next, and predicting it accurately for fashion and tech companies as well as manufacturing businesses.
  • Veterinary Acupuncturist
  • Vibration Consultant: Works with architects and engineers to advise and correct noise and vibration issues in construction projects and in the manufacturing of products.
  • Video Game Tester: For eight hours a day, five days a week, a group of males and females of all ages play video games. They repeat levels, games and characters, looking for any bugs and/or glitches in the software.

odd-job-traffic-zebra-bolivia

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September 25, 2016 · 11:02 AM

Say It Well

Let’s face it:  When writing dialogues between characters, repetition can tend to sneak up on us:  He said, she said, he whispered, she whispered, and so on.  There are a few tricks I’d like to share with you that I’ve learned along the way; one is regarding grammar, and the other is my own twist on dealing with the issue.

Regarding grammar, action verbs can often take the place of the more passive verbs (such as said):  “He said, ‘I’d like that.’” can be spiced up by giving him an action to do (“He picked up the travel brochure and flipped through it:  ‘I’d like that.’”)  The second sentence gives more context, and is more visually engaging for the reader.  Keep in mind that every word should count; don’t pad out the sentence just for word count, or make each exchange in the conversation a prop advertisement; but punctuating a dialogue with such moments can bring it to life.

My own twist is a literal one – a CD:  I took an old one, covered both sides with blank CD labels, and wrote all of the synonyms (listed below) for say and said in a spiral, starting in the centre, changing colours for each new letter of the alphabet.  To use it, I just put it on my finger and spin it around as I read through the spiral until I find the word that best fits my sentence.  I have several such CDs within reach of my computer (another CD, for instance, is for walk synonyms, and another for lie/lay); if you make enough of them, you could keep them in a CD pouch.  Here’s my list of the words around Say (click on the image to enlarge):

say-list

A word of advice to those of you for whom English is not mother-tongue:  Depending on the word, the sentence structure may need to be adapted.  If you’re unsure how to use a word, I would recommend looking it up on Wordnik, and reading the examples on the right-hand side of the page; then choose the sentence structure, prepositions, etc. that are more frequent than not.

I hope that this list helps you say what you want with the variety and precision you’re aiming for!  Feel free to reblog!  Feel free to print this list out and use it; if you pass it on online please put a hyperlink back to this blog, or recommend my blog if you pass it on by word of mouth… thank you!

If you can think of any words or phrases to replace say or said that I missed in the list above, please put them in the comments below!  Keep writing!

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September 19, 2016 · 12:37 AM

Odd Jobs #12: Rodeo Clowns to Soil Conservationists

Hi everyone!  I’m back with this week’s lineup of weird and wonderful jobs.  While each of these jobs is here for its own reasons, seamstress may seem like the least odd job – at least it’s one that we all know (if we are in the habit of wearing clothes) must exist out there in the world somewhere.  The last job on this list, soil conservationist, is actually quite important here in Switzerland; there are many villages in the Alps that owe their continued existence to being able to use the steep alpine pastures wisely.  Planting trees is integral to avoiding soil erosion, which helps prevent landslides, mudslides, and avalanches; another key component is placing barriers such as snow guards to help keep the soil, snow and debris where it should be.

Once again, I have personal experience with one of the jobs:  Silk tree designer.  If I had to find another job, that would be one I’d love to do again.  Enjoy perusing the list!

odd-job-silk-tree-designer

  • Rodeo Clown
  • Rubbish Detective
  • Safe Cracker: When combinations are lost or forgotten, safe crackers use their ears and fingers to open the safe.
  • Seamstress
  • Sewer Inspector
  • Silk Tree Designer: This is one I can give you the low-down on personally:  I was a tree designer back in the 80’s, making everything from bonsai trees for private homes to 30-foot trees for shopping malls.  Our storage warehouse had a few permanent silk trees, as birds had built nests in them, coming and going as if they owned the place… they’d found a sweet gig, with a weather-proof forest.  Tools of my trade were drill guns, glue guns, moss, paint, unformed branches of plastic-coated wire and silk leaves (which I had to shape into realistic branches), and the base:  A thick branch of a tree which had been treated and planted into a plaster-filled base pot.  I found out the hard way that Manzanita leaves can give off a narcotic-like aroma when heated, as with the friction caused by stripping off the leaves from a branch:  I was straddled atop a ladder working on stripping the leaves from a tall branch-base, when I got so dizzy that I had to grab hold of the ceiling’s piping and call for help.  My mother looked it up in her medical journals, and the result was that the leaves were in future removed by the plastering department.  It was one of my all-time favourite creative jobs, next to being a Pizza Hut lab assistant.
  • Snake Milkers: Extract venom from some of the world’s most dangerous snakes, like rattlesnakes and cobras. The extracted venom is often used to create anti-venom for hospital or laboratory use, and can be sold for up to $1,000 per gram.
  • Snowmaker
  • Snowmobile Guide
  • Soil Conservationist: Their main job is to come up with plans to prevent erosion and develop practices for sustainable land use, mostly by performing land-use surveys.

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September 10, 2016 · 4:25 PM

Odd Jobs #11: Ethical Hackers to Candy Pullers

odd-job-raven-master-tower-of-london-spitalfieldslife-com

One of London’s Raven Masters.  Image Credit: Spitalfieldslife.com

This weekend’s lineup of weird jobs starts off with a bit of an oxymoron; how is hacking ethical?  Wearing a white hat only means they’re getting paid by someone to learn how to beat the system… I’m sure there’s more to it, but it’s a fine “ethical” line, isn’t it? The second job, hitchhiking, reminds me of James Corden’s car karaoke videos, though I doubt the Indonesian drivers are singing along with their passengers.

The job that captures my attention most in this list is that of the Raven Master; think about it:  Someone gets paid to pamper wild ravens to convince them to stay in the Tower of London because of a legend.  They’re not taking any chances with the future of England, are they?  That train of thought opens up all kinds of possibilities for a vivid imagination and science fiction, doesn’t it?

  • Professional Ethical Hacker
  • Professional Hitchhiker (Indonesia): The government has restricted some lanes of traffic to only cars with 3 or more people due to overcrowding. Poor people from the city outskirts take advantage of this by offering drivers to ride with them in the “fast lanes”.
  • Professional Line-Standers: Do one thing most of us have no patience for: waiting in line. These professionals are especially busy during big sales (think Black Friday) and product launches (new iPhone releases, for example). Rates vary, but one professional line-stander told Business Insider he earns up to $1,000 a week.
  • Professional Mourners (usually Asia and Africa):  Attend funerals and grieve for the deceased. A company in England called Rent A Mourner specializes in the industry, offering mourners for two hours for roughly $70.
  • Professional Sleeper
  • Professional Wingwalker: Those crazy people who walk on airplane wings for stunt shows.
  • Queen’s Piper
  • Raven Master (UK): Charged with caring for the ravens in the Tower of London; legend has it that if ravens abandon the site, the White Tower will crumble, and England will fall.
  • Ribbon Candy Puller

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August 29, 2016 · 4:45 PM

Odd Jobs #10: Paint Drying Watchers to Professional Cuddlers

Betcha ya never thought ya’d see that kind of title one day…

watching paint dry

From beginning to end, this week’s line-up of weird jobs is filled with doozies; some of them are just downright bizarre, like watching paint dry.  Of all the odd job line-ups I’ve done so far however, this list is by far the most indicting against our modern culture:  The personal touch, the strong family ties and networks of close friends have, for many people, crumbled away, leaving a vacuum to be filled by others who:  Do the shopping for items as simple as groceries or as intimate as clothing or gifts for significant others; teach one how to communicate with others (granted, the pick-up artist – a narcissist at the core – obviously has ulterior motives); to apologize for others (rather than learning how to do so oneself; this is more common in Asian cultues, where saving face is essential, particularly in business sectors); to pose as a close friend (as bridesmaid); even to give someone the personal, physical touch they’re otherwise missing in their lives.  I wonder if our ancestors might just shake their heads in confusion, or roll in their graves…

  • Paint Drying Watcher (wherever paint is drying): Companies actually hire people to carefully observe the changing colors and particles of paint as it dries – both on walls as well as under a microscope. It ensures that the paints are durable and do not fall off at the slightest touch.
  • Paper Towel Sniffer
  • Personal Shopper
  • Pet Psychologist
  • Pick-up Artist Instructor: Single ladies, beware!
  • Porta-Potty Servicer: Like regular restrooms, portable toilets need maintenance, too. Once a week, service workers clean these single-stall facilities to achieve certain standards of sanitation.
  • Potato Chip Inspector: Search for over-cooked or clumped chips to discard as they come down the assembly line.
  • Professional Apologizer
  • Professional Bridesmaids: Hired to assist brides on their big day. Jen Glantz, the cofounder of Bridesmaid for Hire, a company that offers ‘undercover bridesmaid’ and personal assistant-type services to brides and their wedding parties, charges anywhere from $300 to $2,000 per wedding.
  • Professional Cuddlers: Charge up to $80 an hour to snuggle with strangers. The downside: This work comes with its share of emotional burdens, says Portland-based cuddler Samantha Hess.

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August 22, 2016 · 2:48 AM

Odd Jobs #9: Lego Model-Maker to Oshiya (passenger shovers)

Once again, this odd job lineup has some gems!  Would you rather be paid to stand perfectly still for hours on end, or literally shove other people around all day, every day?  Some of these might not be so bad, such as a master distiller, or someone paid to come up with catchy nail polish names, while other jobs might have a certain prejudice or stigma attached to them – after all, how many of us haven’t had luggage damaged in transit at airports, and chosen a few special words, at least in our minds, for the people paid good money to do so?  I was once treated like a piece of luggage, and I wouldn’t wish it on my favourite enemy; however, it did give me a personal taste of just how luggage frequently comes out missing wheels, handles, or zippers.

 

Odd Job - Oshiya - Train Passenger Stuffers

Credit:  YouTube

 

  • Lego Model-Maker
  • Live Mannequin / Human Statue
  • London Dungeon Actor
  • Luggage Handler
  • Mascot
  • Master Distiller (This link also includes the job descriptions of several other jobs involved in the distilling process.)
  • Nail Polish Namer: Sometimes it’s a person, such as Essie Weingarten, and other times it’s a marketing department, or a freelance writer.
  • Nude Model
  • Ocularist: In short, they paint artificial eyes. It sounds easier than it is, since as with real eyes, no two are exactly the same.
  • Oil & Gas Diver
  • Online Book Seller
  • Online Reviewer: Often hired by a company to review a product; but, I then wonder how they could be unbiased in that review.  Such services are also offered for sale on sites such as Fiver.com.  Finding an actual, legitimate, detailed job description for this one is nigh on impossible, as most jobs are offered online now, and the term “review” can be used by anyone with an opinion…
  • Orchestra Manager: While this link is for an orchestra managing director’s job description, an even more specialized niche within the “genre” is that of the orchestra event manager:  They are responsible for booking airline tickets, arranging luggage transport for all shapes and sizes of instruments, booking hotel rooms, organizing and the overseeing of the setting up of venues, and making certain that the even runs smoothly from venue to venue.  That may also include hiring the local sound, light, and stage hands, though these tasks may be handed on to someone else in the managing office.  A friend recently flew in the seat next to such a manager, and passed on the details to me for this odd list… it just proves that you never know where you’ll meet interesting people!
  • Oshiya (Japan): Paid to push people onto trains.

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August 14, 2016 · 9:00 PM

On Summer Holidays

Have you ever felt that you needed a holiday from holidays?  We’ve crammed more activities into one week that we’d previously done all year!  Gondolas (cable cars), waterfalls, mountains, waterfalls inside mountains, overnight in a hotel at the top of a mountain, international guests for a few days in between (take a deep breath), scenery galore, giant outdoor museums, a glass-blowing facility & its hands-on museum, a Benedictine abbey with a cheese factory, medieval castles, restaurants, a mammoth museum, more gondolas, late nights to stay up with the telescope to see Mars, Saturn and the Moon, and to watch for the Perseid meteor showers, and a car that decided it needed to go overnight for repairs (so we travelled partly in an uncomfortable replacement car) – this also included passengers getting out and pushing the car to jump-start it while up in the mountains, and delays waiting for the touring club mechanic twice… and that’s not including the plans for the coming week (fortunately the car’s problem was easily repaired, and we’re all happy again now).  Even though we thoroughly enjoyed the time our international guest was here for a visit, and are enjoying more quality time with our exchange student, my body is tired and my mind is full; I need time to process all of the impressions and experiences.  I don’t know about you, but this introvert needs a break… as in, “Don’t talk to me for a week…”  Later on I’ll say it was worth it, but right now, all I can say, “Stop the holidays, I want to get off!”

Here’s some photographic evidence:

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August 6, 2016 · 10:14 AM

Odd Jobs #8: Hippotherapists to Spatial Designers

The next line-up of odd jobs begins with one that can lead to all kinds of interpretations; no, it’s not therapy for hippos, nor is it accusing hippos of being convicted criminals (break it down…)!  It is in fact a specialised form of therapy for humans involving horses.

There are a few on this list that sound on the surface like cushy jobs; but as with all careers, they have their downsides too, I’m sure:  It’s just creepy to hire someone else to lie down in your hotel bed to warm it up for you, but someone’s got to earn money; and how’d you like to live in a spotless mansion as a living mannequin… never to feel at home, and forced to leave at the drop of a hat?  Being an ice cream taster doesn’t sound bad on a hot day, but 60 kinds a day, every day, without swallowing?  No, thanks!  I’d rather enjoy mine one flavour at a time, or three.

Odd Job - Iceberg Mover

Iceberg Mover.  Original photo source, unknown (if known, please let me know!)

  • Hippotherapist
  • Horse Rider / Exerciser
  • Horticultural Therapist
  • Hot Dog Vendor
  • Human Bed-Warmer (UK): Some hotels offer a service to clients, in which a willing staffer dresses in an all-in-one fleece jumpsuit, and lays in the bed to warm it before the guest arrives.
  • Human Bullet Impact Tester
  • Human Prop: Hired to live in for-sale luxury homes at dirt cheap prices; but of course, there’s a catch – the house must always be in squeaky clean, in case it gets purchased, and they have to be ready to move out immediately. According to real estate companies, houses sell better when they’re being lived in; the props lend an unmistakable energy to an otherwise empty home.
  • Human Scarecrow (UK) – A variation is that of a human scarecrow for airports – Officially, you’d be called a “specialist for biological aviation safety.”
  • Iceberg Mover: Became a profession after the disastrous sinking of the Titanic in 1912. The International Ice Patrol (IIP), which was founded a year later, is operated by the US Coast Guard and tracks the location of icebergs and provides safe routes around them. If necessary, the iceberg will be towed out of the area.
  • Ice Cream Taster (Food Scientist)
  • IMAX Screen Cleaner
  • Interior / Spatial Designer

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July 23, 2016 · 1:22 AM

Odd Jobs #7: Fragrance Chemists to Gumologists

This week’s lineup of oddball jobs includes a literal odd-ball job:  Diving for lost golf balls.  That might seem like a perfect job for someone who loves the outdoors and diving – that is, until you face alligators in Florida (and yes, the video footage is real).  I think it would be a cushier job (pun intended) to be a furniture tester.  Being a greeting card writer might be fun for awhile, but I think it would be difficult to stay fresh year in, year out, unless you could switch “genres” – if that term doesn’t exist in the greeting card industry, I think it should:  Birthday & anniversary genre; condolence genre; or flippant, schmaltz, generic, and even hate-mail genres.  Can you think of others?

Odd Job - Golf Ball Diver, Nancy Rica Schiff

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July 16, 2016 · 12:26 PM

Odd Jobs #6: Face Feelers to Fortune Cookie Writers

I can’t believe it’s Saturday again already!  Our exchange student teen is off to France for a fortnight, so we’re breathing the air of liberté!

Taking a break from the current daily post challenge, here’s the next lineup of odd jobs:  Some can earn good money, such as being a Foley Artist for Hollywood, while others are as obscure as you can get, like being a fish sampler.

In doing the research for this article, I was shocked to find out just how prevalent fake Facebook accounts are; it says a lot about the superficiality of modern culture, and how much need there is to have our feet firmly planted in reality.  It is a known phenomenon that Generation Z (Millennials – enjoy this song by Micah Taylor) seems to get their own sense of worth online; but the number of likes, follows and subscribers should never reflect how much someone is worth, or valued; they need more of us to value them in real face-to-face time, or to express it via the virtual world in uplifting words of encouragement.

So enjoy this list of oddball jobs, and click on their links to learn more.  Then help make the world a better place:  Think about how you can encourage someone today!

Odd Job - Fake Facebooker

  • Face Feelers, also known as ‘sensory scientists’: Trained to use their hands and judge the effectiveness of products like lotions, facial cleansers, and razors. 
  • “Fake” Facebooker (According to Wikipedia, 7% of Facebook users were not real in August 2012). As of October 2012, Facebook crossed the 1 billion user-mark, which means that no less that 87 million accounts are fake.  Their “job” is either to con someone out of personal information in order to steal identities, or to amass “likes” for a video or personality to help them go viral, reaching fame or notoriety.
  • Fireworks Salesman
  • Fish Sampler
  • Flatulence Smell Reduction Underwear Maker: Tasked with engineering underwear that reduces the typically unpleasant post-fart stink for people who suffer from gastrointestinal problems.
  • Flavorist
  • Floating Architects: Design amphibious houses, which can float on water. With waterfront real estate becoming a scarcity, their market niche may grow in the coming years.
  • Foley Artist: Use whatever they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sound effects in films, like heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.
  • Food Stylist
  • Fortune cookie writer: Hired as freelancers or in-house writers to come up with inspiring or witty fortunes. EHow.com estimates that these professionals earn around $40,000 a year.

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