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Odd Jobs #10: Paint Drying Watchers to Professional Cuddlers

Betcha ya never thought ya’d see that kind of title one day…

watching paint dry

From beginning to end, this week’s line-up of weird jobs is filled with doozies; some of them are just downright bizarre, like watching paint dry.  Of all the odd job line-ups I’ve done so far however, this list is by far the most indicting against our modern culture:  The personal touch, the strong family ties and networks of close friends have, for many people, crumbled away, leaving a vacuum to be filled by others who:  Do the shopping for items as simple as groceries or as intimate as clothing or gifts for significant others; teach one how to communicate with others (granted, the pick-up artist – a narcissist at the core – obviously has ulterior motives); to apologize for others (rather than learning how to do so oneself; this is more common in Asian cultues, where saving face is essential, particularly in business sectors); to pose as a close friend (as bridesmaid); even to give someone the personal, physical touch they’re otherwise missing in their lives.  I wonder if our ancestors might just shake their heads in confusion, or roll in their graves…

  • Paint Drying Watcher (wherever paint is drying): Companies actually hire people to carefully observe the changing colors and particles of paint as it dries – both on walls as well as under a microscope. It ensures that the paints are durable and do not fall off at the slightest touch.
  • Paper Towel Sniffer
  • Personal Shopper
  • Pet Psychologist
  • Pick-up Artist Instructor: Single ladies, beware!
  • Porta-Potty Servicer: Like regular restrooms, portable toilets need maintenance, too. Once a week, service workers clean these single-stall facilities to achieve certain standards of sanitation.
  • Potato Chip Inspector: Search for over-cooked or clumped chips to discard as they come down the assembly line.
  • Professional Apologizer
  • Professional Bridesmaids: Hired to assist brides on their big day. Jen Glantz, the cofounder of Bridesmaid for Hire, a company that offers ‘undercover bridesmaid’ and personal assistant-type services to brides and their wedding parties, charges anywhere from $300 to $2,000 per wedding.
  • Professional Cuddlers: Charge up to $80 an hour to snuggle with strangers. The downside: This work comes with its share of emotional burdens, says Portland-based cuddler Samantha Hess.

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Odd Jobs #9: Lego Model-Maker to Oshiya (passenger shovers)

Once again, this odd job lineup has some gems!  Would you rather be paid to stand perfectly still for hours on end, or literally shove other people around all day, every day?  Some of these might not be so bad, such as a master distiller, or someone paid to come up with catchy nail polish names, while other jobs might have a certain prejudice or stigma attached to them – after all, how many of us haven’t had luggage damaged in transit at airports, and chosen a few special words, at least in our minds, for the people paid good money to do so?  I was once treated like a piece of luggage, and I wouldn’t wish it on my favourite enemy; however, it did give me a personal taste of just how luggage frequently comes out missing wheels, handles, or zippers.

 

Odd Job - Oshiya - Train Passenger Stuffers

Credit:  YouTube

 

  • Lego Model-Maker
  • Live Mannequin / Human Statue
  • London Dungeon Actor
  • Luggage Handler
  • Mascot
  • Master Distiller (This link also includes the job descriptions of several other jobs involved in the distilling process.)
  • Nail Polish Namer: Sometimes it’s a person, such as Essie Weingarten, and other times it’s a marketing department, or a freelance writer.
  • Nude Model
  • Ocularist: In short, they paint artificial eyes. It sounds easier than it is, since as with real eyes, no two are exactly the same.
  • Oil & Gas Diver
  • Online Book Seller
  • Online Reviewer: Often hired by a company to review a product; but, I then wonder how they could be unbiased in that review.  Such services are also offered for sale on sites such as Fiver.com.  Finding an actual, legitimate, detailed job description for this one is nigh on impossible, as most jobs are offered online now, and the term “review” can be used by anyone with an opinion…
  • Orchestra Manager: While this link is for an orchestra managing director’s job description, an even more specialized niche within the “genre” is that of the orchestra event manager:  They are responsible for booking airline tickets, arranging luggage transport for all shapes and sizes of instruments, booking hotel rooms, organizing and the overseeing of the setting up of venues, and making certain that the even runs smoothly from venue to venue.  That may also include hiring the local sound, light, and stage hands, though these tasks may be handed on to someone else in the managing office.  A friend recently flew in the seat next to such a manager, and passed on the details to me for this odd list… it just proves that you never know where you’ll meet interesting people!
  • Oshiya (Japan): Paid to push people onto trains.

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On Summer Holidays

Have you ever felt that you needed a holiday from holidays?  We’ve crammed more activities into one week that we’d previously done all year!  Gondolas (cable cars), waterfalls, mountains, waterfalls inside mountains, overnight in a hotel at the top of a mountain, international guests for a few days in between (take a deep breath), scenery galore, giant outdoor museums, a glass-blowing facility & its hands-on museum, a Benedictine abbey with a cheese factory, medieval castles, restaurants, a mammoth museum, more gondolas, late nights to stay up with the telescope to see Mars, Saturn and the Moon, and to watch for the Perseid meteor showers, and a car that decided it needed to go overnight for repairs (so we travelled partly in an uncomfortable replacement car) – this also included passengers getting out and pushing the car to jump-start it while up in the mountains, and delays waiting for the touring club mechanic twice… and that’s not including the plans for the coming week (fortunately the car’s problem was easily repaired, and we’re all happy again now).  Even though we thoroughly enjoyed the time our international guest was here for a visit, and are enjoying more quality time with our exchange student, my body is tired and my mind is full; I need time to process all of the impressions and experiences.  I don’t know about you, but this introvert needs a break… as in, “Don’t talk to me for a week…”  Later on I’ll say it was worth it, but right now, all I can say, “Stop the holidays, I want to get off!”

Here’s some photographic evidence:

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Odd Jobs #6: Face Feelers to Fortune Cookie Writers

I can’t believe it’s Saturday again already!  Our exchange student teen is off to France for a fortnight, so we’re breathing the air of liberté!

Taking a break from the current daily post challenge, here’s the next lineup of odd jobs:  Some can earn good money, such as being a Foley Artist for Hollywood, while others are as obscure as you can get, like being a fish sampler.

In doing the research for this article, I was shocked to find out just how prevalent fake Facebook accounts are; it says a lot about the superficiality of modern culture, and how much need there is to have our feet firmly planted in reality.  It is a known phenomenon that Generation Z (Millennials – enjoy this song by Micah Taylor) seems to get their own sense of worth online; but the number of likes, follows and subscribers should never reflect how much someone is worth, or valued; they need more of us to value them in real face-to-face time, or to express it via the virtual world in uplifting words of encouragement.

So enjoy this list of oddball jobs, and click on their links to learn more.  Then help make the world a better place:  Think about how you can encourage someone today!

Odd Job - Fake Facebooker

  • Face Feelers, also known as ‘sensory scientists’: Trained to use their hands and judge the effectiveness of products like lotions, facial cleansers, and razors. 
  • “Fake” Facebooker (According to Wikipedia, 7% of Facebook users were not real in August 2012). As of October 2012, Facebook crossed the 1 billion user-mark, which means that no less that 87 million accounts are fake.  Their “job” is either to con someone out of personal information in order to steal identities, or to amass “likes” for a video or personality to help them go viral, reaching fame or notoriety.
  • Fireworks Salesman
  • Fish Sampler
  • Flatulence Smell Reduction Underwear Maker: Tasked with engineering underwear that reduces the typically unpleasant post-fart stink for people who suffer from gastrointestinal problems.
  • Flavorist
  • Floating Architects: Design amphibious houses, which can float on water. With waterfront real estate becoming a scarcity, their market niche may grow in the coming years.
  • Foley Artist: Use whatever they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sound effects in films, like heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.
  • Food Stylist
  • Fortune cookie writer: Hired as freelancers or in-house writers to come up with inspiring or witty fortunes. EHow.com estimates that these professionals earn around $40,000 a year.

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Postcard from Lugano III

2016-06-15 06.59.28 smallYou know how, when you send a postcard from holidays, you’re usually back before the recipient receives it?  Well, same here… I’m back from holidays, and so this postcard has just arrived.  We were away just a week (could always be a bit longer, right?), and enjoyed beautiful weather, storms, rain, sunshine, and time.  Time away from internet connections (there is no wi-fi in the flat there, so the temptation is eliminated!), time to read, to write, to be, to watch football matches of the European Football Championships (that’s soccer to Americans), and to cook good Italian food.

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We were in Lugano, Switzerland, otherwise known as the Riviera, or the Monte Carlo, of Switzerland; it’s in the Italian-speaking area, and is nestled along the shores of Lake Lugano.  The top image is the view from our (glass) balcony, unbroken from Castagnola to just beyond Caprino (check it out on Google Earth!), and the lower image is of a side street by the Church of Santa Maria degli Angioli, along the shoreline of Lugano.  Our family holiday flat is in Castagnola, along the flank of Monte Bre, and is our go-to place for a short get-away.

Whenever we’re down there, I switch from whatever manuscript I’m working on to a novel I’m writing that’s based on a house which our flat overlooks, and one that has captured our curiosity for decades:  Villa Helios sat vacant and decaying for over 30 years, and a few years ago began to be renovated.  This year was the first time we’ve seen life in the place.  From what I can tell, it has become either flats to rent, or buy.  There were only one or two flats occupied, as the rest of the windows were still either boarded over or shuttered; at night those windows were lit by small corner-lights to make it look occupied, but it was clear that they were vacant.  It was nice to get away for some quiet time together with my husband, but time there goes by very lazily, so even at a leisurely pace, I still managed over 10K on the novel!  It was especially relaxing to write on it because, just before going on holiday, I finished the manuscript for my 5th novel (the third book in the Northing Trilogy), and was able to send it off to my beta readers before leaving; I could work on the other novel with a “free conscience”.

Now back in the real world, I’m giving myself a short break from writing on my novels so that I can tackle the graphics of the cover, as well as all the bits and bobs that go along with marketing; once I get the beta feedback, it will be time to go through the manuscript again and make any changes necessary.

Here’s hoping you have a great week, and find inspiration for your own writing!

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Lugano by night.  Foreground:  The dome of Villa Helios

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Odd Jobs #4: Chicken Sexers to Cup Keepers

Civil War Re-Enactors - Newsobserver-com

Photo credit:  Newsobserver.com

The jobs in this week’s list range wide in their requirements; while some require only natural skills, such as the organisational skills needed to be a closet organiser, or the brawn needed to muss up someone trying to steal your client’s car in Brazil (or South Africa – check out the comments on last week’s post), others require proof of one’s trustworthiness, such as the Crown Jeweller or the Cup Keeper, and some require specific training such as the re-enactor (besides being knowledgeable about the era they portray and its clothing, etc., they need to be physically fit to wield a sword for hours on end – even minutes on end!).  To be a crime scene cleaner, at least for violent crimes, I think one would need nerves of steel and a good therapist…

Of all the jobs on this list, I think the only one I’d really like is being a closet organiser; I actually did that once:  A family hired me to help sort out their cupboards; they literally could not find anything, and no wonder… dishes were stuffed in with board games and bedding, towels were on the out-of-reach top shelf of a hall closet far from the bathrooms while the other shelves were stuffed with candles, plant pots and other bedding, and their bedroom closets held more dishes, crafts supplies, books and even clothing.  I’d never seen such chaos, and it was a good project to sink my organisational “teeth” into!

  • Chicken Sexer: Determines the sex of a chick, relying heavily on intuition. Usually hired by commercial hatcheries, these professionals (who are more common in the UK and Japan) make up to $60,000 a year.
  • Chief Listening Officer: Monitors a brand’s presence across social media platforms.
  • Civil War Battlefield Re-enactor : This category could be expanded to any kind of re-enactor – Viking, British, Renaissance, Medieval, etc.
  • Closet Organizer
  • Colour Expert / Wardrobe Stylist
  • Crack Filler: Using a silicone sealant, they repair the wear and tear inflicted on monumental structures, like Mount Rushmore. The job description also includes repairs to blacktop, asphalt driveways and sidewalks, etc.
  • Crime Scene Cleaner
  • Crown Jeweller
  • Cruise Ship Entertainer
  • Cuidacarros (Brazil): Hire these guys to watch your car when you’re gone and beat up anybody trying to steal it.
  • Cup Keeper: Paid to babysit expensive trophy cups, such as the Stanley Cup, as they travel.

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Odd Jobs #3: Bereavement Coordinator to Car Plate Blockers

JAPAN-ART-PAINTING

Body Painter.  Photo credit: YOSHIKAZU TSUNO/AFP/Getty Images

For most of the odd jobs in this week’s lineup, I was able to find a link with a description of some kind; but, not surprisingly, “one of these is not like the others” (a Sesame Street throwback…) – the only illegal job of them all; it seems to have found a niche market in a black market sense of the word.  In a weird way, it reminds me of “lines of desire” – where there’s a will, there’s a way.

I find it interesting to include “Blacksmith” in this list; what was once a trade found in any town worth its salt, and testified to by the number of people with the surname Smith, is now a rarity.

By the way, I’m running a similar series on my history blog under the heading “Odd Jobs of Bygone Days” in case you’re interested.

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Odd Jobs, #1: Pizza Lab Assistant

Have you ever stopped to think about how a product you use comes into being?  We know about the testing of cosmetics on animals, no matter how appalling that practice is to us, but what about products tested on humans?  How are paintball guns tested?  On live, moving (and well-paid) targets.  And who writes the messages in fortune cookies?  And if you think they taste-test dog food on dogs, think again… someone gets paid to eat it.  I came across an odd job in my online research recently, and it got me thinking about obscure professions.  I’ll be sharing them with you in small doses, as some of them are downright gross, while others seem on the surface to be dream jobs, yet when you shake a stick at them, they might not come up to snuff as a day-to-day routine.

When I was younger, I worked in various food industry jobs:  My very first job was a summer job working in a Dunkin’ Donuts; the first day or two, I thought I was in heaven; by the second week, I found myself craving savoury things like Doritos and burritos – anything to counter the incessant mist of powdered sugar inhaled and permeating my hair and skin and clothes.  A month later, I couldn’t even smell the sweet air.

Pizza Hut Lab Assistant, Photo ShootThat job was not in and of itself all that unusual; but the odd job I’d like to share with you today was one I worked at for a couple of years, off and on, through a temp service; I kept being called back for projects because the head chef liked working with me: In the Pizza Hut Laboratories, I assisted him in creating new doughs, sauces, and dishes to be served in Pizza Huts worldwide.  It was a fascinating job – before that, I’d never known what a difference 1 gram of yeast in a dough could make.

One memorable event from that time was assisting in the photoshoot for a billboard campaign; we needed four shots:  One whole deep-pan pizza, one slice of a deep-pan pizza, and one whole thin pizza and one slice of it.  For those four shots, we ensconced ourselves in the chosen photo studio for 10 days, nine-to-five, making literally hundreds of pizzas.  Steam doesn’t show up on photos, and back then – before the digital age – it couldn’t just be photoshopped in… it had to be produced with dry ice.  The pizza had 20 seconds to get from the oven to the studio across the hall before it would be declared “dead”… unusable for a photograph.

But have you ever seen a wilted, baked bell pepper strip, or a shrivelled mushroom?  They’re very unappetizing when blown up to billboard size, believe me.  However, according to the US regulations for advertising, we couldn’t just substitute those veggies for raw counterparts, as that would be fraudulent advertising – it had to be something customers could get in the restaurant.  So, we blanched vegetables (thus, technically cooked); when the pizza left the oven, we had 10 seconds to go in with toothpicks, loosen the melted cheese, slip the offending veggie out and slip in a replacement to that exact gap, then whisk it across the hall, where the photographer was ready for us.  At first, I was extremely popular with my friends, as we all had to take home tons of pizzas!  But after a few days, my friends and family were wishing I worked elsewhere… and still, the pizzas kept coming.  Needless to say, we got the shots, and we all survived the pizza overdose.

I remember one counterpoint to that penetrating smell of baking pizza:  The photographer had a coffee machine in which he brewed a caramel coffee that smelled absolutely heavenly!  I’ve never been a coffee drinker, but that was the closest I’d ever come to being tempted to try it!  The only thing that stopped me was knowing that it probably smelled much better than it could ever taste, and I didn’t want to ruin the one highlight of my pizza-riddled days.

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The Extraordinary Life of Zitkala-Ša

I just posted this article on my history blog, History Undusted; it’s a true story worth repeating: Zitkala-Sa’s life is the stuff of legends, with enough interesting facts and circumstances to inspire the writer in you and spark stories in their own right.

Zitkala-Ša quote

Trinity's avatarHistory Undusted

What makes this person worthy of notice is not simply the accomplishments of their life as a writer, author, musician, composer, editor, teacher, and successful political activist, as well as having the honours of both being buried in the Arlington National Cemetery and having a Venusian crater named in their honour (Bonnin), but the fact that this person was a Native American woman born in a time when American indigenous peoples were still being trampled down, forced into assimilation, ignored, exploited and abused by the insurgents to their lands – the palefaces – and a time when even white women in general had no say in public life.

Born in 1876 as Zitkala-Ša (Sioux for Red Bird) in South Dakota, before the age of seven her family and tribe were driven by white men from their lands “like a herd of buffalo”; her uncle and younger sister (among many…

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To-Do or To-Be, That is the Question

 

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Credit:  www.acceleo.com

Working at home is a double-edged sword; most people think they would love to be their own boss, to set their own schedule, to pursue their own dreams.  But that’s just it:  You have to be your own boss, and not let meetings, schedules, appointments, to-do lists and sundry responsibilities outside of work consume you; you have to set your own schedule and stick to it, or time will hijack it; you have to actively pursue your dream (and success usually comes dressed in work clothes), or it will never come true.  It’s a lot like writing:  Most people don’t really want to write a book, as they claim; they want to have written a book, and there is a vast difference between the two.

If you’re like me, you’re organized; we need to be, to keep work, tasks and schedules from eating us alive.  Sometimes even with the best of intentions and plans, squirrels still come along… if you have no idea what I mean, just click on the link!  To keep the squirrels at bay, I keep a book of to-do lists.  I have one for my household tasks, telephones, repairs, appointments, administrative issues, etc.  I have as many as it takes for revisions and the like for my current manuscript, as well as marketing lists, etc… plus writing blogs.  Sometimes frankly they can all be overwhelming, and that’s where I need grace with myself.  It’s times like that when having a boss might be preferable, telling me what to do next (I just have to remember the last two bosses I had, and that wistful thought vanishes pronto)!

Despite the long lists, I still need to find time and space to just “be”, and that is a challenge for me.  Even when I’m sitting still, my mind’s going 1,000 RPM, percolating on a plot idea, developing a character or plot twist, thinking about what I’ll make for dinner – do I need to go shopping? – or what the schedule will be once others are home again.  Leaving work at the office is more difficult when home and work occupy the same space.  And, oh yeah, daily exercise would be a good idea too.  I have periods each day that are what I call “limbo time” – too short or chopped up by others to dive into a larger project.  I could fill the “limbo” time of my schedule with a myriad of micro-sized tasks; but I also need to learn to step back, take a deep breath or ten, and not be productive or feel guilty that I’m not being productive.  Such recuperation time shouldn’t be relinquished to the edge of “micro crumbs” of time left over; it is just as important to schedule a time of rest, and should be taken just as seriously as any task, though it often isn’t (I’m getting better at it).

Some of the things I’ve learned about time management so far are:

  • Know how your time is spent.  If you don’t, it will run through your fingers like fine sand.  In my article on productivity, I mentioned a few helpful apps; they help me track how my time is being used, and it helps me to focus.  Even my breaks are scheduled with the Clear Focus app mentioned.
  • Have a pad of paper nearby to jot down the random thoughts that come. I’ve found that jotting them down quickly helps clear my mind to focus better on the task at hand.
  • Schedule down-time: Take a power-nap, or do something you enjoy like sitting in the sunshine, going for a refreshing walk, or creating something crafty.
  • Create habits. One habit I have is a bit like “clocking in” at my desk:  I set both my landline phone and my cell phone into a holder on the desk, and this little action signals to my mind that it’s “time to focus”.  Another habit might be making myself a tea either before I sit down, or on a break.

How do you deal with balancing work and rest, real life and dwelling in the fantasy world of a writer?  Have you developed any habits that help?  Please share them below – we can all benefit, I know!  The next thing on my schedule is – squirrel! – taking time to swing by others’ blogs, and be inspired.  The squirrel is now caged.

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