Category Archives: Research

Odd Jobs #10: Paint Drying Watchers to Professional Cuddlers

Betcha ya never thought ya’d see that kind of title one day…

watching paint dry

From beginning to end, this week’s line-up of weird jobs is filled with doozies; some of them are just downright bizarre, like watching paint dry.  Of all the odd job line-ups I’ve done so far however, this list is by far the most indicting against our modern culture:  The personal touch, the strong family ties and networks of close friends have, for many people, crumbled away, leaving a vacuum to be filled by others who:  Do the shopping for items as simple as groceries or as intimate as clothing or gifts for significant others; teach one how to communicate with others (granted, the pick-up artist – a narcissist at the core – obviously has ulterior motives); to apologize for others (rather than learning how to do so oneself; this is more common in Asian cultues, where saving face is essential, particularly in business sectors); to pose as a close friend (as bridesmaid); even to give someone the personal, physical touch they’re otherwise missing in their lives.  I wonder if our ancestors might just shake their heads in confusion, or roll in their graves…

  • Paint Drying Watcher (wherever paint is drying): Companies actually hire people to carefully observe the changing colors and particles of paint as it dries – both on walls as well as under a microscope. It ensures that the paints are durable and do not fall off at the slightest touch.
  • Paper Towel Sniffer
  • Personal Shopper
  • Pet Psychologist
  • Pick-up Artist Instructor: Single ladies, beware!
  • Porta-Potty Servicer: Like regular restrooms, portable toilets need maintenance, too. Once a week, service workers clean these single-stall facilities to achieve certain standards of sanitation.
  • Potato Chip Inspector: Search for over-cooked or clumped chips to discard as they come down the assembly line.
  • Professional Apologizer
  • Professional Bridesmaids: Hired to assist brides on their big day. Jen Glantz, the cofounder of Bridesmaid for Hire, a company that offers ‘undercover bridesmaid’ and personal assistant-type services to brides and their wedding parties, charges anywhere from $300 to $2,000 per wedding.
  • Professional Cuddlers: Charge up to $80 an hour to snuggle with strangers. The downside: This work comes with its share of emotional burdens, says Portland-based cuddler Samantha Hess.

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Odd Jobs #9: Lego Model-Maker to Oshiya (passenger shovers)

Once again, this odd job lineup has some gems!  Would you rather be paid to stand perfectly still for hours on end, or literally shove other people around all day, every day?  Some of these might not be so bad, such as a master distiller, or someone paid to come up with catchy nail polish names, while other jobs might have a certain prejudice or stigma attached to them – after all, how many of us haven’t had luggage damaged in transit at airports, and chosen a few special words, at least in our minds, for the people paid good money to do so?  I was once treated like a piece of luggage, and I wouldn’t wish it on my favourite enemy; however, it did give me a personal taste of just how luggage frequently comes out missing wheels, handles, or zippers.

 

Odd Job - Oshiya - Train Passenger Stuffers

Credit:  YouTube

 

  • Lego Model-Maker
  • Live Mannequin / Human Statue
  • London Dungeon Actor
  • Luggage Handler
  • Mascot
  • Master Distiller (This link also includes the job descriptions of several other jobs involved in the distilling process.)
  • Nail Polish Namer: Sometimes it’s a person, such as Essie Weingarten, and other times it’s a marketing department, or a freelance writer.
  • Nude Model
  • Ocularist: In short, they paint artificial eyes. It sounds easier than it is, since as with real eyes, no two are exactly the same.
  • Oil & Gas Diver
  • Online Book Seller
  • Online Reviewer: Often hired by a company to review a product; but, I then wonder how they could be unbiased in that review.  Such services are also offered for sale on sites such as Fiver.com.  Finding an actual, legitimate, detailed job description for this one is nigh on impossible, as most jobs are offered online now, and the term “review” can be used by anyone with an opinion…
  • Orchestra Manager: While this link is for an orchestra managing director’s job description, an even more specialized niche within the “genre” is that of the orchestra event manager:  They are responsible for booking airline tickets, arranging luggage transport for all shapes and sizes of instruments, booking hotel rooms, organizing and the overseeing of the setting up of venues, and making certain that the even runs smoothly from venue to venue.  That may also include hiring the local sound, light, and stage hands, though these tasks may be handed on to someone else in the managing office.  A friend recently flew in the seat next to such a manager, and passed on the details to me for this odd list… it just proves that you never know where you’ll meet interesting people!
  • Oshiya (Japan): Paid to push people onto trains.

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Odd Jobs #8: Hippotherapists to Spatial Designers

The next line-up of odd jobs begins with one that can lead to all kinds of interpretations; no, it’s not therapy for hippos, nor is it accusing hippos of being convicted criminals (break it down…)!  It is in fact a specialised form of therapy for humans involving horses.

There are a few on this list that sound on the surface like cushy jobs; but as with all careers, they have their downsides too, I’m sure:  It’s just creepy to hire someone else to lie down in your hotel bed to warm it up for you, but someone’s got to earn money; and how’d you like to live in a spotless mansion as a living mannequin… never to feel at home, and forced to leave at the drop of a hat?  Being an ice cream taster doesn’t sound bad on a hot day, but 60 kinds a day, every day, without swallowing?  No, thanks!  I’d rather enjoy mine one flavour at a time, or three.

Odd Job - Iceberg Mover

Iceberg Mover.  Original photo source, unknown (if known, please let me know!)

  • Hippotherapist
  • Horse Rider / Exerciser
  • Horticultural Therapist
  • Hot Dog Vendor
  • Human Bed-Warmer (UK): Some hotels offer a service to clients, in which a willing staffer dresses in an all-in-one fleece jumpsuit, and lays in the bed to warm it before the guest arrives.
  • Human Bullet Impact Tester
  • Human Prop: Hired to live in for-sale luxury homes at dirt cheap prices; but of course, there’s a catch – the house must always be in squeaky clean, in case it gets purchased, and they have to be ready to move out immediately. According to real estate companies, houses sell better when they’re being lived in; the props lend an unmistakable energy to an otherwise empty home.
  • Human Scarecrow (UK) – A variation is that of a human scarecrow for airports – Officially, you’d be called a “specialist for biological aviation safety.”
  • Iceberg Mover: Became a profession after the disastrous sinking of the Titanic in 1912. The International Ice Patrol (IIP), which was founded a year later, is operated by the US Coast Guard and tracks the location of icebergs and provides safe routes around them. If necessary, the iceberg will be towed out of the area.
  • Ice Cream Taster (Food Scientist)
  • IMAX Screen Cleaner
  • Interior / Spatial Designer

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Odd Jobs #7: Fragrance Chemists to Gumologists

This week’s lineup of oddball jobs includes a literal odd-ball job:  Diving for lost golf balls.  That might seem like a perfect job for someone who loves the outdoors and diving – that is, until you face alligators in Florida (and yes, the video footage is real).  I think it would be a cushier job (pun intended) to be a furniture tester.  Being a greeting card writer might be fun for awhile, but I think it would be difficult to stay fresh year in, year out, unless you could switch “genres” – if that term doesn’t exist in the greeting card industry, I think it should:  Birthday & anniversary genre; condolence genre; or flippant, schmaltz, generic, and even hate-mail genres.  Can you think of others?

Odd Job - Golf Ball Diver, Nancy Rica Schiff

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Odd Jobs #6: Face Feelers to Fortune Cookie Writers

I can’t believe it’s Saturday again already!  Our exchange student teen is off to France for a fortnight, so we’re breathing the air of liberté!

Taking a break from the current daily post challenge, here’s the next lineup of odd jobs:  Some can earn good money, such as being a Foley Artist for Hollywood, while others are as obscure as you can get, like being a fish sampler.

In doing the research for this article, I was shocked to find out just how prevalent fake Facebook accounts are; it says a lot about the superficiality of modern culture, and how much need there is to have our feet firmly planted in reality.  It is a known phenomenon that Generation Z (Millennials – enjoy this song by Micah Taylor) seems to get their own sense of worth online; but the number of likes, follows and subscribers should never reflect how much someone is worth, or valued; they need more of us to value them in real face-to-face time, or to express it via the virtual world in uplifting words of encouragement.

So enjoy this list of oddball jobs, and click on their links to learn more.  Then help make the world a better place:  Think about how you can encourage someone today!

Odd Job - Fake Facebooker

  • Face Feelers, also known as ‘sensory scientists’: Trained to use their hands and judge the effectiveness of products like lotions, facial cleansers, and razors. 
  • “Fake” Facebooker (According to Wikipedia, 7% of Facebook users were not real in August 2012). As of October 2012, Facebook crossed the 1 billion user-mark, which means that no less that 87 million accounts are fake.  Their “job” is either to con someone out of personal information in order to steal identities, or to amass “likes” for a video or personality to help them go viral, reaching fame or notoriety.
  • Fireworks Salesman
  • Fish Sampler
  • Flatulence Smell Reduction Underwear Maker: Tasked with engineering underwear that reduces the typically unpleasant post-fart stink for people who suffer from gastrointestinal problems.
  • Flavorist
  • Floating Architects: Design amphibious houses, which can float on water. With waterfront real estate becoming a scarcity, their market niche may grow in the coming years.
  • Foley Artist: Use whatever they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sound effects in films, like heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.
  • Food Stylist
  • Fortune cookie writer: Hired as freelancers or in-house writers to come up with inspiring or witty fortunes. EHow.com estimates that these professionals earn around $40,000 a year.

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Odd Jobs #5:Deer Urine Farmers to Embalmers

I thought I’d switch gears for the weekend from my daily post challenge, to continue with an odd topic:  Odd jobs.  This batch has some doozies; people actually get paid to eat dog food, or smell a dog’s breath!  And while the deer urine farming sounds intrinsically disgusting, the purpose is even more dubious in my opinion:  To lure bucks to their deaths through hunting with the urine as bait.  Whatever happened to fair play… giving the buck a fighting chance?  I think I’d much rather prefer training dogs to surf, or wrangling ducks or training elephants; or maybe we could even come up with a job that combines all three!  Enjoy perusing the jobs below – just click on the links to learn more about each.

Odd Job - Dog Food Tester, Nancy Rica Schiff

Dog Food Taster – Photo Credit: Nancy Rica Schiff

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Odd Jobs #4: Chicken Sexers to Cup Keepers

Civil War Re-Enactors - Newsobserver-com

Photo credit:  Newsobserver.com

The jobs in this week’s list range wide in their requirements; while some require only natural skills, such as the organisational skills needed to be a closet organiser, or the brawn needed to muss up someone trying to steal your client’s car in Brazil (or South Africa – check out the comments on last week’s post), others require proof of one’s trustworthiness, such as the Crown Jeweller or the Cup Keeper, and some require specific training such as the re-enactor (besides being knowledgeable about the era they portray and its clothing, etc., they need to be physically fit to wield a sword for hours on end – even minutes on end!).  To be a crime scene cleaner, at least for violent crimes, I think one would need nerves of steel and a good therapist…

Of all the jobs on this list, I think the only one I’d really like is being a closet organiser; I actually did that once:  A family hired me to help sort out their cupboards; they literally could not find anything, and no wonder… dishes were stuffed in with board games and bedding, towels were on the out-of-reach top shelf of a hall closet far from the bathrooms while the other shelves were stuffed with candles, plant pots and other bedding, and their bedroom closets held more dishes, crafts supplies, books and even clothing.  I’d never seen such chaos, and it was a good project to sink my organisational “teeth” into!

  • Chicken Sexer: Determines the sex of a chick, relying heavily on intuition. Usually hired by commercial hatcheries, these professionals (who are more common in the UK and Japan) make up to $60,000 a year.
  • Chief Listening Officer: Monitors a brand’s presence across social media platforms.
  • Civil War Battlefield Re-enactor : This category could be expanded to any kind of re-enactor – Viking, British, Renaissance, Medieval, etc.
  • Closet Organizer
  • Colour Expert / Wardrobe Stylist
  • Crack Filler: Using a silicone sealant, they repair the wear and tear inflicted on monumental structures, like Mount Rushmore. The job description also includes repairs to blacktop, asphalt driveways and sidewalks, etc.
  • Crime Scene Cleaner
  • Crown Jeweller
  • Cruise Ship Entertainer
  • Cuidacarros (Brazil): Hire these guys to watch your car when you’re gone and beat up anybody trying to steal it.
  • Cup Keeper: Paid to babysit expensive trophy cups, such as the Stanley Cup, as they travel.

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Odd Jobs #3: Bereavement Coordinator to Car Plate Blockers

JAPAN-ART-PAINTING

Body Painter.  Photo credit: YOSHIKAZU TSUNO/AFP/Getty Images

For most of the odd jobs in this week’s lineup, I was able to find a link with a description of some kind; but, not surprisingly, “one of these is not like the others” (a Sesame Street throwback…) – the only illegal job of them all; it seems to have found a niche market in a black market sense of the word.  In a weird way, it reminds me of “lines of desire” – where there’s a will, there’s a way.

I find it interesting to include “Blacksmith” in this list; what was once a trade found in any town worth its salt, and testified to by the number of people with the surname Smith, is now a rarity.

By the way, I’m running a similar series on my history blog under the heading “Odd Jobs of Bygone Days” in case you’re interested.

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Odd Jobs #2: Ant Vendors to Beer Testers

Odd Job - Barbie Doll dress designer, Nancy Rica Schiff

Barbie Doll Dress Desiger.  Image by Nancy Rica Schiff

Here are a few jobs that, only if one stops to think about it really (really) hard, might seem logical.  I guess that if you buy a ball, someone has to have tested it – at least random spot-checking of production lines; but selling ants?  Or making post mortem portraits from cremated ashes?  Or sniffing other people’s armpits (which is easier than sniffing your own, granted…)?  Go figure.  Follow the links to read more about them.

  • Ant Vendor: There are about 12,000 different species of ants in the world, so selling ants might actually be more complicated than you think. If you’ve ever had an ant farm, there was an ant vendor at work behind the scenes.
  • Armpit Sniffer
  • Ash Portrait Artists: Gets creative with the remains of loved ones. Following cremation, some people choose to hire these artists to create a token of remembrance, like a necklace or glass sculpture.
  • Barbecue Editor: Eating at restaurants and writing about it for magazines and newspapers. It may sound like a dream job until you stop to consider the fact that they must eat barbecue several times a day, every day…
  • Backpacking Instructor
  • Bed Tester
  • Ball Tester: Assess basketballs, footballs, volleyballs and soccer balls for air-retention, inflation, roundness, weight and reboundability. This job might also be called a “performance analyst” or “performance evaluation tester”.  If you think about it, someone’s got to test sports balls, tennis rackets for pros, etc.
  • Barbie Dress Designer: Fashion designers at Mattel Toys, the company behind Barbie, create hundreds of new styles for Barbie and her ever-expanding entourage.
  • Beefeater
  • Beer Tester: Taste — and spit out — beer all day to approve new and existing flavours.

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Not Just A Pretty Face

History is full of fascinating stories; some of them are so strange that they would be tossed onto the sludge pile of any self-respecting publisher if it came across their desk in the form of a novel’s premise.  As Mark Twain so elegantly put it, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.”  The proof is in the pudding, as they say, in the following story:

What do the following three things have in common:  A young Jewish woman by the name of Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler, born in 1914 in Vienna, Austria; the spread-spectrum technology that enables Wi-Fi, CDMA & Bluetooth; and a Hollywood starlet discovered in Paris by Louis B. Mayer in 1937?  Quite a lot, in fact; because the woman born in Austria was otherwise known as Hedy Lamarr, inducted posthumously into the National Inventors Hall of Fame in 2014 for developing technology useful for a radio guidance system for torpedoes, the concept behind Bluetooth, Wi-Fi & CDMA (Code Division Multiple Access) and now used for entertainment and communication around the globe.

Lamarr, who became known as “the most beautiful woman in Europe”, was the only child of a prominent upper-class Jewish family, and her birth name was Hedwig (Hedy is the diminutive form).  At 18, she married Friedrich Mandl, reputed to be the third wealthiest man in Austria and an arms dealer who made a killing during the wars (in both senses of the word), in the proverbial bed with both Mussolini and the Nazis.  Lamarr would attend lavish dinner parties and business meetings with her husband as he networked with scientists and those involved in military technology, and her intelligent mind soaked up the information, nurturing her scientific talents.

Lamarr escaped her controlling and jealous husband by disguising herself as a maid and fleeing to Paris, where she obtained a divorce.  There she met Louis B. Mayer, who was scouting for European film talent; he had her change her surname to Lamarr, in homage to the silent film actress Barbara La Marr.  In 1938 she made her American film debut in “Algiers”, but because of her beauty, she was often typecast as a seductress; to alleviate the boredom, she set up an engineering room in her home and turned to applied sciences and inventing.  With the outbreak of World War II, she wanted to help in the war against the Germans, particularly in improving torpedo technology.  She met a composer, George Antheil, who had been tinkering with automating musical instruments; together they came upon the concept of “frequency hopping”:  Until then, torpedoes guided by radio signals could be jammed and sent off course just by tuning into their broadcasting frequency and causing interference; hopping frequencies would enable torpedoes to reach their target before their signal could be locked down.

Hedy Lamarr - Austrian-Actress-Invents-Control-Device

In classic Hollywood-portrayal style, the US Navy wasn’t interested in a technology developed by a beautiful actress and a musician in some suburban home.  I find the Stars and Stripes article above very telling as to their views of a pretty face actually being smart too; its tone is quite condescending from beginning to end.  The US military didn’t apply the groundbreaking technology for another 20 years, until the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962.  That same technology serves as the basis for our modern communication technology, enabling many people to use broadband simultaneously without interfering with each other; such situations as portrayed between Doris Day and Rock Hudson in “Pillow Talk” are unthinkable today, and all because of Hedy Lamarr.

So the next time you’re sitting in a café using Wi-Fi next to someone else on their own cell phone, give a wink to the memory of Hedy Lamarr.  May you be inspired to reach beyond the possibilities, and create fiction worth reading even in the distant future!

Hedy Lamarr Quote

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