Category Archives: Nuts & Bolts

The nitty gritty of the English language and then some.

October 10, 2015 · 1:26 AM

Two Essentials on Every Blog in WordPress Land

I love looking at other blogs – it gives me a window into another culture, another mind, another lifestyle and another perspective. I also like to click on the Gravatars of others who’ve “liked” the same article, to see what like-minds have to offer. In doing so, I’ve repeatedly come across Gravatars & blogs that have two essentials missing: Blog links, and “Like” buttons.

Everyone who’s got a WordPress site has a Gravatar; on the Gravatar you’ve got the opportunity to put a link to your blog(s), your Twitter account, Facebook, Pinterest, or any other link you’d like to connect to one face, one place. Think of it as a virtual pin board, or bulletin board. If you’ve got a blog, that’s the place to have a link!

To the right of this blog page, you see the example of my own Gravatar: A photo of moi, my Gravatar’s name and a brief description, followed by a list of my personal links – some are to my other three blogs, and my Amazon Author’s Page, as well as my Pinterest board. I’ve never twittered, and maintaining a public Facebook page on top of four blogs plus a writer’s forum on another website was too much of a time-eating monster… I’d rather be working on my next novel’s manuscript!

I’ll explain how to get what you need, as sometimes it’s helpful – I’m sure a lot of you know more about finding your way around cyberspace than I do, but sharing knowledge is what makes connecting with others enjoyable!

To add a link to your Gravatar:

On your blog, click on your Gravatar’s name (just under the Gravatar photo on your blog, if you’ve got that set up; if not, click on your chosen image at the top right of your screen’s bar – that will take you to the reader, where you should see the name in blue). Once you’re signed in through WordPress, below the Gravatar’s name you should see the options “Edit My Profile” and “Hide My Profile”. Click on Edit; on the new screen to the right you will see a list; chose “Websites”. On the new screen, you can add a new website by copying and pasting the URL after clicking either of the “Add Website” options. Be sure to title it too.

One more thought: Don’t leave a generic image as your Gravatar’s face; put something that represents you, whether a photo of you or your cat or a flower – it’s a lot more attractive, individualized, and says something about the person behind the words.

To add a Like button:

Go to your blog’s main page, and hover over “My Sites” in the top left corner; one from the bottom you should see “Settings”; click on that. From this new screen, in the last section on the left you should see “sharing”. Here you should be able to add a like option.

I’m not certain this is correct, as I’ve already got the option on all four of my blogs; but it may also depend on which theme you choose for your blog. If anyone knows how to get the like button up front, please let me know! If you can’t add like in the way described, you may want to consider changing your blog’s visual theme (different themes offer different options). Your content matters, and people want to let you know!

Also, when adding a new post, make certain that you’ve ticked on the “Likes and Shares” (in the left-hand side bar).

Just one more thought: Be aware of how colour schemes affect the reader: If you’ve got a bright background and clashing font colours, it’s just plain irritating, and will likely drive more people from than to your blog. Choose colour combinations that are easy on the eye, which makes them much more attractive to read.

Please tell me in the comments below how you’ve experienced these points, and if you have any tips on improving the layouts and function of blogs!

16 Comments

Filed under Articles, Nuts & Bolts

Tagged as Blog Links, Blogging, Connecting, Gravatar, How-To, Image, Like Button, Likes, Shares, Website, WordPress, WordPress Blog Themes

October 5, 2015 · 4:23 PM

The Pitfalls of Analogies

These are priceless examples of creativity gone awry. I don’t know who originally wrote these gems or compiled them; if you know, please tell me so that I can give credit where credit is due!

21 Analogies Used by High School Students in English Essays

“When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment.”
“Her eyes twinkled, like the moustache of a man with a cold.”
“She was like a magnet: Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front.”
“The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one long slender leg behind her, like at dog at a fire hydrant.”
“She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was a room temperature Canadian beef.”
“She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet.”
“The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.”
“Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.”
“Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart.”
“His career was blowing up like a man with a broken metal detector walking through an active minefield.”
“The sun was below the watery horizon, like a diabetic grandma easing into a warm salt bath.”
“From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.”
“It was as easy as taking candy from a diabetic man who no longer wishes to eat candy.”
“She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.”
“Their love burned with the fiery intensity of a urinary tract infection.”
“It’s basically an illusion and no different than if I were to imagine something else, like Batman riding a flying toaster.”
“If it was any colder, it would be like being in a place that’s a little colder than it is here.”
“Joy fills her heart like a silent but deadly fart fills a room with no windows.”
“The bird flew gracefully into the air like a man stepping on a landmine in zero gravity.”
“He felt confused. As confused as a homeless man on house arrest.”
“The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.”

4 Comments

Filed under Cartoon, Grammar, Humor, Lists, Nuts & Bolts, Writing Exercise, Writing Prompt

Tagged as Analogies, Creative Writing, Dilbert, Grammar, Humour, List, Scott Adams, Syntax

September 20, 2015 · 7:36 AM

Truth into Fiction

Sometimes truth is more fascinating, more adventurous than fiction. Sometimes a news article becomes a spark for a fictional story. One of the greatest films of all time, Titanic, took its cue from real life; many books and films are based on real life stories, mysteries, narrow escapes, historical events and experiences. The best kinds of story sparks are those things which capture our imagination; not only best for the reader, but also for the writer – for if you are not excited by and captivated by what you’re writing about, researching and investigating, how do you expect a reader to be excited or captivated by it? Personally, history has always fascinated me; I wonder, “What would it be like to walk among them?” or “What would it be like to discover these events as a modern archaeologist?” I explored such a theme in my novels, “The Cardinal“.

Here are a few historical sparks that might capture your imagination; just click on each image to link to the article:

Artifacts from the Battle of the Egadi Islands, ca. 240 BC

The City of Heracleion, Plunged into the Sea

China’s Atlantis: Shi Cheng

The Skulls of Sac Uayum

An Ancient Roman Shipwreck Reveals Medicinal Remedies

2 Comments

Filed under History, Images, Lists, Nuts & Bolts, Plot Thots & Profiles, Research, Writing Exercise

Tagged as An Ancient Roman Shipwreck Reveals Medicinal Remedies, Ancient History, Artifacts from the Battle of the Egadi Islands, China's Atlantis, Plunged into the Sea, Sac Uayum, Shi Cheng, The City of Heracleion, The Elongated Skulls of the Yucatan Underwater Cave, Writing Sparks

September 12, 2015 · 9:42 AM

The Psychology of Colour

I was recently talking with someone, and the topic of the psychology of colours came up in connection with health care; it got me thinking about how it could be applied to practical applications, as well as writing fiction. My particular practical application is crocheting hats to donate to the local cancer patient clinics, and I wanted to know which colours would be more appropriate.

In writing fiction, colours play an important part as well; they help set the scene: Is it a dark and gloomy scene? Don’t choose pink or pastels – unless you want to make it a creepy-gloomy scene. The colour of the sky, the grass, the sand, living room walls, a person’s eyes – they all help set the stage, or paint the backdrop of your fictional character’s life, situations, or the overall tone of the book; it can also help establish your character’s personality: Are they a compassionate, stable person? Perhaps beige combined with a bit of pink. Is your character blind, (figuratively or literally)? Red is the easiest colour for a visually impaired person to see, so accent their home in red. You get the idea! Advertisers have been using the psychology of colours to manipulate consumers for decades; the more we understand the application of colour, the more we can see through the tactic and at the same time apply it to our writing. Here are a few images to consider as you think into this topic and apply it to your own fictional characters.

Tricks for Writing Dialogue

I recently listened to a Ted Talk by British psychologist Elizabeth Stokoe, who analyses patterns, rhythms and wording in conversations. From her talk, I distilled a few interesting points that could be applied when writing a dialogue for fiction, and I’d like to share them with you:

Are you willing? If a person is given a sense of control or authority in the situation, they’re far more likely to cooperate. If you ask, “Do you want this service / action to happen?” you may draw a blank response; but if you ask that person, “Would you be willing to receive this service / be willing to see X happen?” you’re more likely to get a positive response.
How did you…? When you want to find out particular information from a person, how and when you ask for that information in the course of a conversation / dialogue greatly decreases or increases your chances of getting a positive response / reply. If rapport is first established, they are much more willing to reply.
Why did you / were you…? If an open-ended question is asked, target information may not come; but if a target-specific question is asked non-confrontationally, the desired information is more certain. “Why did you do X?” or “Where have you been?” are both confrontational, and the reaction will likely be evasive or defensive. But if you instead say, “I was wondering what your reasons for doing X were… could you explain?” or “I tried to reach you earlier, and was wondering where you were”, these are more likely to get a more positive response, or to solicit the information you’re searching for.
Any or Some? “Any” tends to elicit a negative response or a refusal, while “some” invites a more positive response. A simple example is, “Would you like any tea?” – this implies an unwillingness or a reluctance on the speaker’s part to provide, whereas, “Would you like some tea?” implies the assumption of a positive response, and is thus more likely to solicit an affirmative response. In both cases the person asked may want tea, but would be unwilling to coerce the one offering if they have the impression that the offer is made unwilling through the use of “any”.

When applying these ideas to writing a dialogue, a positive application will move your characters closer to a solution or resolution, whereas the negative application will lead them more toward miscommunication and conflict; depending on what you need to happen, you choose which way the dialogue takes your characters, and thus your readers.

Keep writing!

Oh, the Irony

paper

2 Comments

August 8, 2015 · 10:00 AM

June 13, 2015 · 11:01 PM

The Glorious Chaos of English

English, in many ways, is one of the simplest languages to learn quickly and in which to converse fluently; but scratching below the surface one rapidly finds incongruities. As a teacher for English as a foreign language for adults (TEFLA), I was frequently confronted with the challenges of teaching students to spell and pronounce words correctly, but I was also comforted by the fact that English nouns only come with four possible preceding cases, or articles (a, an, the, and none), rather than, say, German, in which each noun has a nominative, genative, dative or accusative, singular or plural form of their case; or Finnish, which has a whopping 15 cases.

The Chaos, a poem written by the Dutch traveller & teacher, Gerard Nolst Trenité (1870–1946), gives ~800 examples of irregular spelling. In general one can say that there are spelling “rules”, but English, in all its historic complexities of absorbing, digesting and recycling influences from conquerors, enemies, travelling companions and allies, seems designed to say “rules can and will be broken”. I would never give his last advice to anyone – but after reading this poem, you’ll understand that English needs tenacity and constant practice to use well!

The Chaos

by G. Nolst Trenite’ a.k.a. “Charivarius” 1870 – 1946

Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you’ll tear,

So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,

Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it’s written).

Made has not the sound of bade,

Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,

Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,

Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.

Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.

Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war, and far.

From “desire”: desirable–admirable from “admire.”

Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.

Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral.

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.

Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,

Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth

Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet;

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,

Which is said to rime with “darky.”

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s O.K.,

When you say correctly: croquet.

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive, and live,

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,

Between mover, plover, Dover,

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police, and lice.

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label,

Petal, penal, and canal,

Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,

Rime with “shirk it” and “beyond it.”

But it is not hard to tell,

Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,

Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous, clamour

And enamour rime with hammer.

Pussy, hussy, and possess,

Desert, but dessert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.

Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rime with anger.

Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.

Font, front, won’t, want, grand, and grant.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.

And then: singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.

Query does not rime with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;

Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.

Though the difference seems little,

We say actual, but victual.

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;

Put, nut; granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rime with deafer,

Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,

Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific,

Tour, but our and succour, four,

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria,

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion with battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.

Say aver, but ever, fever.

Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess–it is not safe:

We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.

Heron, granary, canary,

Crevice and device, and eyrie,

Face but preface, but efface,

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,

Ear but earn, and wear and bear

Do not rime with here, but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,

Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation–think of psyche–!

Is a paling, stout and spikey,

Won’t it make you lose your wits,

Writing “groats” and saying “grits”?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel,

Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict, and indict!

Don’t you think so, reader, rather,

Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally: which rimes with “enough”

Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of “cup.”

My advice is–give it up!

1 Comment

Filed under Articles, Cartoon, Grammar, Nuts & Bolts, Quotes, Writing Exercise

Tagged as articles, cases, Dearest Creature in Creation, English, Far Side cartoon, G.Nolst Trenite, Gerard Nolst Trenité, Misspelling, Poem, Poetry, Primitive Spelling Bee, Pronunciation, Spelling, TEFLA

April 25, 2015 · 3:45 PM

Writing Tips: Dialogue

Dialogue is (to point out the obvious) vital to a novel; it displays the voices of your characters and helps the reader get to know and care about the characters, understand their motives, their interrelationships, and distinguish each character’s point of view. If you don’t get the dialogue right, you rip the reader out of the story, or worse – make them put down your novel and add your name to “never again” lists! So, here are a few pointers and tips to keep in mind as you develop your characters and put words into their mouths:

1) Develop your characters well enough to make their voice distinct; do they have catch-phrases, or local dialects that influence their vocabulary? Do they tend toward long or short sentences, or are they from a past time and place that had a different way of speaking? Educate yourself if necessary in various modes of speech .

2) Dialogue is an illusion of conversation; but it’s also about what is not said. Non-verbal actions reveal:

a) How a character says something

b) What a character chooses not to say, but inadvertantly reveals through actions.

c) Why the character says what they do.

Do they have particular actions when they are upset or aggitated that communicate their moods to the reader? Do they bounce their knees when excited? Does their body language confirm or contradict their verbal message?

3) Fictional dialogue needs to cut to the chase; if there’s no point to the text (revealing motivation, character or plot point), then chop it!

4) Avoid the trap of using dialogue as exposition (the proverbial villain’s monologue as he prepares to destroy the hero), but rather reveal essential information through action, or narration.

Explore your characters and develop their voices, and above all – keep writing!

Writing Tip: “Sense” Your Scenes

I try to read a book a week; it’s usually on a Saturday, when I have time to sit down and read a good chunk at a time. This past weekend I read a book which prompted thoughts around this concept of “sensing” a scene, and reading it aloud to hear any howlers that might have crept into the writing. The author of that book obviously did neither, though her editor might have told her to beef up descriptives – so they were clumped all together, staggering me as a reader to a halt while I tried to figure out the context of the pages of descriptives before remembering what the characters were doing there in the first place, and often the dialogue sounded very stilted (e.g. using “vocalized” instead of “shouted” – the latter of the two would have fit into the character’s time and place far better) – a good reading-aloud editing session might have done wonders for the novel.

Senses This image is one I have printed out on a card and hung near my desk when writing; it reminds me to apply all of my senses to a scene, to enrich the imagery and draw the reader in. Describe the sights, smells, sounds, feelings and taste of a scene; make it a sensory experience and it will be far more memorable; this is done through sentence structure and the pacing of those elements, but sometimes also through “camera angle” – looking at the scene from a particular perspective. How does your character feel in the moment? What are their perceptions? Does a smell remind them of something or someone? Here are a few tips to achieving these goals:

While adjectives are useful for adding colour or depth to a sentence, think of them as pepper; too much can spoil the scene. If using more than one to describe a noun, familiarize yourself with the rule of order for adjectives.
Use action verbs rather than passive/being verbs with adverbs. E.g. “She stumbled down the hill” rather than “She went unsteadily down the hill”.
Most importantly: Read your sentences and scenes aloud! I cannot stress this enough – if it sounds choppy or stilted to your ears, or doesn’t sound like something your character would say or do, then change it!

Writing is a dynamic process, and being a writer means constantly striving to improve oneself – building vocabulary and learning how to use words effectively, building your knowledge through research, studying, and reading, reading, reading! Keep on writing!

2 Comments

Filed under Articles, Images, Nuts & Bolts, Plot Thots & Profiles, Writing Exercise

Tagged as Adjectives, Adverbs, Character Development, Creative Writing, Editing, Goal of Writing, Parts of Speech, Senses, Writing Tips, Writing Tools

February 8, 2015 · 4:50 PM

Writing Tip: Layering

If you’ve ever painted a picture more than a colouring book or a paint-by-number, chances are you’ve learned something along the way about layers. Layering is also a digital graphics technique in programs such as Photoshop, and as each layer is made, the image changes, taking on the shapes or colours as you add the consecutive elements.

Besides being a writer, I am also a vocal coach. I only take on students who are already in bands, or preparing for recordings or competitions, and one of the things I teach them is layering within a vocal performance: The nuances of thoughts, the power of imagination, the colouring of the vocals through not only the physical placement of the tone within their instrument (their body), but the placement of their imagination. One can communicate boredom or interest or empathy with the exact same wording by merely varying the intonation, and that comes through the layering of the performance.

Writing is much the same way: It is through the employment of grammar, spelling and punctuation that we signal the reader to prepare for a particular experience; as Mark Twain said, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

Oh, the difference between, “It was rainy last night,” and “It was a dark and stormy night”!

So the next time you feel like your manuscript or poem is falling flat, take a minute to think about the layers, and see what creative brush strokes you can give your work.

1 Comment

Filed under Articles, Nuts & Bolts, Plot Thots & Profiles, Writing Exercise

Tagged as Grammar, Layering, Linguistics, Mark Twain, Nuts & Bolts, Painting, Punctuation, Quote, Syntax, Vocal Coaching, vocal performance, writing, Writing Tips, Writing Tools